My Story – Part III
Don’t Be A Kid’s Last Coach
Glen Mulcahy February 15, 2017
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My son had played A1 hockey since atom (9/10 yr. old), and although I saw examples of overly competitive coaches, it was not until he was a second year player in Bantam A1 that it was norm, not the exception for coaches to focus on winning at all costs. Below is a recent video I came across in my ongoing research about the issues in youth sports focusing on a coach of a peewee football team. It did not take long before I started noticing some trends that both our coach and many others utilized, tactics like set power play units, penalty kill specialists, set breakout plays, line matching and many other strategies that NHL coaches implemented. Although the coach of our team, just like coaches on other teams we played chose players for the top team from their associations, as a result of various tactics being implemented quite often the third lines of defensive pairings on teams would be victims of short benches. One player actually quit our team early in the season that the rumour mill hinted was due to not getting fair ice time, which the coach tried to deflect was not the case. During that season, our coach and several others showed how youth sports had evolved to a winning at all costs mentality. Early in the season we went to a ice breaker tournament on Vancouver Island. We were the top seed going into the tournament (I was surprised we were accepted as we were from a Tier II association, playing in flight III of rep, but all the other teams were in Flight 4 to 7 (the higher the number, the lower the skill level of teams). In essence, we were a AAA team, playing in tournament with AA or even A level teams. As a result, we got off to a great start, winning our first 3 games by margins of 4 or more goals. In the 4th game of the tournament, we played a team that was rolling their lines (meaning every time it was the lines turn, they would go out) so our coaches matched them. By the end of the second period we were up on the team by several goals and my wife shared with me afterwards that a parent, who coached with me on prior teams in the stands, stated “I don’t know why we are still matching lines, they should be juggling players around to make it a closer game” The end result, game 4, elimination game, we won 7-2. The coach accomplished his objective, we qualified for the gold medal game later that afternoon, on Remembrance Day, Nov 11th, 2013, just over a month since I and my son lost our biggest fan. Just before the game the coach pulled me aside and shared with me that he reviewed the importance of remembrance day with the team in the dressing room (although I was team HCSP, he did not want me in the dressing room or the bench as claimed had too many coaches, another story in itself). He told me he stated that the day was not just about remembering the vets who lost their lives protecting our great country, but also to remember those that were very close to us we lost. He then asked each player to dedicate the game to that person, and my son stated “my Nanny”, who he lost just over a month before and was there from the beginning to the tragic end of her battle with cancer. I got weepy eyed, as I still do now, and thought it was a great thing for to coach to do. For that final game, my son was put on the third line as a forward. The first period we played well, were up 3-1. Early in the second period the other team took a double minor penalty for intentional head shot, so we potentially could score two goals on power play. The coach sent out “his power play unit” to build the lead, potentially if we scored 2X would have a comfortable lead going into the second 1/2 of the game. The “power play unit” went out, after 1 minute we had not scored and a couple tried to change but coach said stay out there, 2 minutes all tried to change, again stay out there even after 3 minutes I could tell they were gassed and gave the coach the evil eye as no players should out there more than a minute. You probably already know what happened, with less than a minute left in the second double minor penalty, the other team who had fresh legs from rolling their lines intercepted a pass made by one of our tired players and went in and scored on a breakaway. Score was now 3-2, I looked down the bench and thought to myself, the third line is going to have short shifts for remainder of the game (we only had 4 D) but they actually sat on the bench in a very cold rink until ice clean mid way in second, the balance of the second period, and most of the third period (over 35 consecutive minutes). We finally scored late in the 3rd making the score 4-2 and the coach immediately told assistant coach to get the third line out there. They go out, the other team sends their line out, and just before the puck is going to drop, the assistant coach calls the ref, “change”, as we were home team had last change privilege, and he beckoned the third line to come back to the bench. I WAS FURIOUS as were those three players looking at their faces of disbelief. The slowly came back to the bench and as they came off, the AC stated “sorry guys, I just don’t want you out there against their top line” Translation – you aren’t good enough to be on this team. We did win the tournament, but not as a team to follow the old cliché “you win or lose as a team”. I opted to practice the 24 hour rule and I did not talk to the coaches, parents and immediately went to my car waiting for my wife and son to come out, seemed like an eternity. They got in the car, no words were said, and we headed to the ferry terminal but as we had a hour to kill we stopped for a bite to eat. While we were waiting for our food to arrive, I asked my son how he felt, shared I was really upset as I have always rolled my lines, never sat kids other than for discipline. It took him a while to talk, when he did, tears rolled down his face and he said, “Dad …. I am really pissed as I was deprived the opportunity to contribute to the outcome of the game” (this in a game that he dedicated to his Nanny, something to this day I have never shared with him that I knew as it was his dedication to her) Those words I will never forget and there were the reasons that set the wheels in motion for me to establish PARADIGM Sports, so I could work with coaches, parents and sports administrators to educate them about the various issues in youths sports that is leading to the 70% attrition rate so we can bring the game back to the kids. There were many other issues that season including coaches, parents screaming at players or officials making mistakes in games, at times also in practices, implementing short bench tactics depriving kids playing time in key situations like power play, penalty kill, starting, ending games etc. The following season, my son shared with us after he went to tryouts that he did not want to play anymore for various reasons, one being hockey was not fun anymore, he quit a game he once loved. He opted to try high school sports and first was volleyball, and just a few practices into the season the coach shared with them “guys, I am only going to play our top players in games”. (I have hence learned that the coach had every right to do so as there is no fair play policy in high school after grade 8). Needless to say, both my son and I shook our heads in disbelief, not only was winning the focus of rep hockey, but even high school (not club) volleyball and having interacted with 1000’s of parents, coaches since that year, is one of many issues in youth sports. Long story short – I can relate on many fronts why kids play (fun) and sadly why they are quitting (it no longer is) which is leading to fields, ice rinks, courts being empty per the video below. Let’s get kids their 5 years back