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I have been asked to speak at the wrap up event for UBC’s Kinesiology Mentorship program which I am involved with so have been brainstorming some examples to share in my talk. Thinking back, I have had so many great mentors since my childhood, coaches on many of my teams, teachers in school and post secondary education as well as managers I have worked with in business.

Like many of us, however, I have also had my fair share of those that were “not so great.”

Although there are many examples I could share, I thought I would be remiss if I did not talk about the one that had the greatest impact on me as both a coach but also as a parent.

His first name was also the same as mine but with two N’s, Glenn Zwyck.  Ironically he was related to my English teacher in High School and he was the most tenured coach in our local softball association, has also coached hockey for many years, both minor and adult, and was inducted as builder of Canadian Adult Recreational Hockey Association in BC as well as numerous coach of the year awards in hockey and softball.

Sadly, Glenn passed away in 2012, and was one of the reasons why my daughter quit softball as he was a second father to her and many of the other girls that he coached.

Below is a bench that we all kicked in to dedicate in his memory at our local park, and since he passed, I have sat on the same bench over the years when I needed some insight knowing that he would have extended it selflessly as he had for the many years before he lost his battle to illness.

 

 

One of my favorite memories of my daughter’s softball “career” was when Glenn would go out to the pitching mound during games to have one of his many talks with her to “calm her down” (like me, she has a wee bit of an Irish temper) when she struggled to find the strike zone.  Each time when he left to return to the mound, whatever he said turned that frown into the hugest smile.

He also was a pitcher and played at a really high level in men’s softball, as was he a former Junior Hockey player and coach before his kids were born.

I can recall all too well many of the conversations that I would have with him sitting on the dugout before games or practices when the girls were warming up or afterward as they were collecting all their gear. We never talked tactics, strategies that seems to the be the focal point of coaches today, in lieu we talked about how valuable sports were to teach kids valuable life lessons including; work ethic, respect, integrity, punctuality, sportsmanship, winning with humility, losing with dignity, selflessness, teamwork, leadership and communication.

 

He was educated as a teacher but like me ( I pursued business in lieu for various reasons) opted not to go into teaching as his first love was hockey, worked as an operations manager for one of the oldest rinks in the lower mainland.

I also recall how frustrated he would get when our teams would qualify for the provincials (the equivalent of state championships in the USA) of which he lead us to 5 over the course of 7 years he coached my daughter and a core group of girls that he would draft year over year. Many times he would say that the all the girls thought it was more important to talk about boys, social media vs. getting or staying focused to compete in games.

 

My one regret as Glenn passed away are year after our last provincials is we were not able to win one “for the Gipper”, having won three provincials myself, I know how satisfying it was as a player to win one for our coaches, and my daughter feels the same way.

The reason I had the utmost respect for Glenn was his dedication not only to helping all the girls develop their core skills of softball but skills of life. After every game he would review what the girls learned and at the end of each season, he would provide humorous anecdotes of the contributions they made to the team, unlike many coaches today, he truly cared about each and every one of the girls as if they were his own daughter.

Over the years either sitting on the bench in the dugout or I would reach out to him for insight when I ran into things that I needed help on coaching hockey and his words of wisdom helped me become the coach that I am today.  I also believe all his words of wisdom also made me a better parent and running my own business.

I remember a couple of key conversations we had over the years, one was when I was coaching Atom (9-10 years old) and I was getting a lot of pressure from parents to focus on team tactics in practices (breakout drills, power play, penalty kill) which I had been doing merely as chalk talks before games.  The reason I resisted working on tactics and strategies in practices is every one of my players needed to work on their core skills to execute.

About a month into league play I called him to get some insight and he shared “I really don’t understand why parents put pressure on coaches to focus on strategies if they knew so much, why are they not coaching?  He further went on to say I needed to have a meeting with the parents to relay why I was doing what I was doing, and the importance of letting the coaches coach.”

It was really early on in my coaching career so I did a lot of research into long-term development, core skills to support my reasoning and had a meeting and all the parents buy in.

This was my first of many meetings to follow where I learned the fine art of engaging, not dealing with, parents.

Another time a couple of years later, I was the division head coach of 4 teams and we had a coach that was spending 75% of his practices doing breakouts which I suspect was due to parental pressure so again I reached out to Glenn and he said “the coach and the parents don’t get it … Hockey is a really simple game, the team that has the puck more will probably win.  The reason they are getting stuck in their zone is the other teams can skate, pass faster so tell the coach to focus on skills vs. systems.”

I shared that with the other coach, he changed his focus to core skills, and after about a month in lieu of being stuck in their own zone, the reverse happened, they were putting pressure on the other teams.

Many more examples I could share and one thing that saddened me most when he passed away, not only had I lost my mentor, my daughter had lost both a father figure and a GREAT Coach.

She hung up her cleats that year, sharing that she was quitting due to the drama of the new coaches were not like us and were focused mainly on winning and it those that did sign up shared with her they did not have fun, the remainder quit the end of that year.

Just a few nights back I was helping her print some images for a project while I was reviewing our facebook page and shared with her we were getting people following us from many parts of the world, to which she said “it’s because you are doing great work”  My reply was humbly “Thank you.”

She further went on to say how much she loved playing softball for Glenn, me and other coaches as we focused on the girls having fun while learning so many skills as well as valuable life lessons.  Like me, Glenn did have a temper at times would get frustrated when the girls would goof off, not focus or appear disinterested in the games.  What I learned was this was one of the core differences coaching girls vs. boys, they at times would get distracted focusing on the social aspect but will leave that for another post.

Not only was Glenn on of my mentors, he also mentored my daughter and all those girls for many years and the last thing she said to me was “Dad, even when I went back to play for the adult fastpitch team, or co-ed slo-pitch teams, it was not the same.”

I ashed .. Why?

“Because you and Glenn are not coaching anymore most quit and there really isn’t anyone playing softball anymore.”

Picture of one of the fields our teams played on for years that is empty many times when I drive by

Sadly, it is not that far from the truth, the numbers of girls registered playing softball in our home association since she hung up her cleats just 6 years ago has dropped over 50%!!  Similar trends are also happening on our boys baseball teams which I played in my youth, then my son on the very same fields including winning the “championship” during family days.

The reason that so many associations are suffering declining enrolment are vast, but one of my core beliefs is many don’t understand the reasons why kids play, why they are quitting or the importance of having great coaches that instil the love of the game so kids come back each year.

This was mine, Glenn’s and other coaches of our girl’s teams main focus each year, we all believed that kids should love the game more at the end of a season than they did at the beginning so they return year after year and play well into their adulthood.

I truly can’t say how important it is for coaches to seek out mentors, many of which will do so unselfishly to give back.

During a recent Skype call I had with an organization looking for insight how to change their culture and coach development, parent education, the head coach of the organization shared how he reached out to the long-term coach of their community Junior A team to see if he would provide mentorship to their competitive coaches.

He agreed to do so with no hesitation as will many tenured coaches to help those that are getting started out.

Some coaches feel it is a sign of weakness when they reach out to others for help or feedback which could be no further from the truth. By ensuring you have a mentor to turn to, whenever you run into a situation you have not come across, chances are they have and can help you thru it.  In particular when it comes to the “other” aspects of coaching, connecting with your players, developing confidence and character as well as tips how to engage parents, respecting officials, dealing with harassment or working with board members.

Just as my long-term mentor Glenn did, he showed me that how important it was to develop relationships with players, parents, officials and all others involved in the organizations and as a result, we won many games, tournaments and qualified for provincials several times as a byproduct of focusing on the process and developing strong relationships.

I sadly miss our conversations but as I share with every coach as I travel the country, remember our role as coaches is not to make a living, but rather to make a difference developing youth into adults.

 

Please ensure the legacy that you leave behind is like Glenn’s and is a positive one so you are not a kid’s last coach.

Let’s all work together to bring the game back to the kids … where it belongs.