reasons kids quit sports – PARADIGM Sports

Lack of Fair Play – The Other Reasons Why Kids Quit Sports

Posted May 18, 2017January 27, 2022 Glen Mulcahy2 CommentsPosted in Coach

Lack of Fair Play – The Other Reasons Why Kids Quit Sports

Playing just your starting lineup isn’t only hurting your kids, but your team as a whole!

Part II

Glen Mulcahy

May 18, 2017

BONUS – Download a Free Copy of this Blog in PDF Format HERE

This blog post is a continuation of last week’s Part I post Poor Sportsmanship – The Other Reasons Why Kids Are Quitting Sports

When I first began researching fair ice policies a few years back, there were only a couple that came up when I used my good friend Google. One I found was Hockey Nova Scotia which had fair play in addition to their policies for all levels including house, female and even competitive rep.

Nova Scotia Hockey AGM Agenda

Above is an image from last year’s Hockey Nova Scotia AGM. If you happen to follow the NHL at all, there are a couple of pretty good players that came from there. One happens to be the captain of the defending Stanley Cup Champions, Sidney Crosby; the other is Nathan McKinnon who many feel is the fastest player in the NHL with the puck.

I just did the same search I did four years ago in 2013 and the good news is, there is change coming. Currently the entire first page of Google outlines the fair ice policies that various hockey and ringette associations have adapted. As far as I am concerned as a coach and educator, the sooner that all major Hockey and Ringette associations implement these policies the better.

One of the top 5 reasons why players quit any sport is due to the fact that coaches play their favorites more than they do other players. In doing so, they are sending the message to those that sit that they are not good enough. As my son so eloquently shared with me after he sat on the bench for the better part of a game for non-disciplined reasons as a result of coaches’ strategy backfiring on him, he was “deprived of the opportunity to contribute to the outcome of the game.”

90% of kids would rather play on a losing team – emphasis on the word “play” in all situations – than sit on a bench for a winning team.

The only reason why players should be sitting on the bench when it comes to their turn to get out on the court, field or ice is for discipline. This could be anything from not being penalized when they should’ve been, to using bad language, to demonstrating poor sportsmanship and more. Aside from behaviour correcting actions, coaches need to take on their inherent responsibility of developing ALL of the players they’ve chosen to be part of their club, and not to rely on who they feel are their top players.

When I reached out to Cory McNabb (senior manager of player development for Hockey Canada) if he agreed with the short bench tactics that coaches in minor hockey are using, his reply was simply “Nope, if you pick ’em, you play them.”

Translation – regardless if the team in question is a house (rec) or competitive (rep) level, coaches choose the players for their team whether through tryouts, evaluations or drafts. To rely on a few players who in their subjective view are the cream of the crop, coaches are not investing in developing all their players; something that should unquestionably be a priority above a win in the short term.

Just for a second, think back to the last 5 or more Stanley Cup Championships where commentators and coaches alike are saying they need to have all 4 lines contributing in order to win the Cup. This principle is not one that remains at the elite of the elite level. It is relevant all the way back to when kids are just beginning to develop their athletic careers at six or seven years old.

This year during my experience coaching high school rugby, the athletic director shared with me that there is no fair play code in high school sports other than grade 8 (13 year olds). The remainder of coaches for teams grade 9 and up are both allowed and encouraged to only play their top players in every game.

I had to deal with this experience first hand with my developing Rugby team this past year, which struggled to get a full field (15 players) out to any game on a good day. One match that’s been unfortunately etched into mine and my players brains was against a highly competitive school who brought out almost 30 players. Before the first half was over the ref came to me and asked what I wanted to do as we were already down 48-0. We spoke to the athletic director of the other team and asked if they could sub in their second line players and, unfortunately, it went on deaf ears… the head coach continued to run the score up as he was focused on winning the provincials.

This I know now is the reason my son was deeply discouraged about playing different sports. A couple years ago he quit playing hockey, in large part to experience other sports and teams. When he signed up for grade 10 high school volleyball, just a few practices in, he was told point blank by the parent coach that he was only going to play his top players in games (one of whom was, of course, the coaches son).

Until the NSO/PSO/RSO and secondary school sporting bodies recognize that one of the top 5 reasons why kids are quitting any sport (just as in the case that ALA found in their survey) is because of a lack of fair play policies, attrition rates in youth sports are going to continue to grow!

Even if they implement fair play policies alone, I truly believe it will lessen that insanity in the stands which every parent knows all too well when it is time for their son or daughter to play. When the kids sit on the bench for non-disciplined reasons they get frustrated and after a season of it, it is no wonder why both player and parent opt to go down a different path (not that it is any greener on the other side of the fence).

It also will bring the love of the game back to the kids vs. the adults competing against each other through their kids.

Just because many kids may not have reached their potential at a young age doesn’t mean that they won’t be able to with future opportunities. If they are deprived of the chance to contribute it’s likely that they will quit.

Imagine if these “pretty good athletes” that went on to have insanely successful careers like Sydney Crosby and Nathan McKinnon were not given the opportunity to “play” early on in their development and were one of the 70% that quit by the age of 13 as a result.

Let’s work together to bring the game back to the Kids … where it belongs.

Glen Mulcahy

Poor Sportsmanship – The Other Reasons Why Kids Are Quitting Sports

Posted May 10, 2017January 27, 2022 Glen Mulcahy2 CommentsPosted in Athlete, Coach

Poor Sportsmanship – The Other Reasons Why Kids Quit Sports

Lack of respect in youth sports today is killing our athlete’s motivation!

Part I

Glen Mulcahy

May 10, 2017

BONUS – Download a Free Copy of this Blog in PDF Format HERE

Lack of sportsmanship is a large part of the reasons our young athlete’s are becoming discouraged so early in their athletic careers. Although the second reason kids are leaving lacrosse is to specialize in other sports as I outlined in prior article Why Kids Quit Lacrosse, the primary reason why kids are leaving lacrosse are a myriad of combined problems within the sport (20.6% of the responses of the 1100 families surveyed by Alberta Lacrosse Association) that are outlined in the table below:

Source: 2014-16 Retention Report – Alberta Lacrosse Association

Of these, the most significant reason was (poor) Sportsmanship and (lack of) Fair Play, the later of which we will talk about in Part II later this week.

Although the retention report was specific to lacrosse, I would argue based on my involvement in various other youth teams with coaches, parents, officials and athletes that the same would hold true in almost all other youth sports today.

Poor Sportsmanship

Have you come across a sign like this at your local arena, soccer field, lacrosse box etc?

How many times have you been to a youth sports game in recent years and seen either players or coaches demonstrating poor sportsmanship? This could include any of the following, all of which that I’ve experienced firsthand;

Throwing or breaking their sticks because they missed a shot on goal
Screaming at a young official as they missed a call
Playing with the intent to injure – knee on knees, elbows to the head, helmet to helmet contact, cross checks or hitting players in the numbers (in the back)
Disrespectful when shaking hands after a game, or worst case coaches slew footing (tripping) a player or vice versa. (At one of the games I coached a player on opposing team tried to trip me as a prank while shaking hands and was suspended for 5 games as a result!)
Entering the penalty box throwing helmets, gloves, sticks and using language that is not appropriate even for adults in ANY environment
Players excessively celebrating goals even when their team is up on the other team by a significant margin (AKA rubbing salt into the wound)

The list goes on and on for the escalating lack of sportsmanship I have seen over the years. I strongly believe this is due largely in part to the fact that many coaches and parents have not been reinforcing the importance of respect; whether for themselves, team mates, coaches, other teams, officials, parents, or others in their community. This includes the apparent lack of understanding that you should win with humility and lose with dignity.

I am coaching High School Rugby this year and our number one agreed upon core value is respect. Even when the going gets tough (which believe me, it has) I’ve taught my athletes to still call the ref sir, and that even though some feel it is a Hooligan’s game … it is played by gentlemen.

Our rugby team’s first game of the season we got, for lack of a better word, thumped. But as I knew going into this season we would be in for some tough games I did two things to kick off the season;

First – I asked every player to write down the top 3 characteristics they wanted to see from their team mates.

Below is the team values summary in no particular order where every player contributed. As you can see, one of our team values is sportsmanship, along with other core values like effort, chemistry, resilience and so on.

Second – We have a circle of trust where the players form a circle, lock arms, and at each practice or game a different player leads the circle strongly stating the following:

“I have your back”

“I will respect you”

“I will be fearless”

“I will not criticize you”

“We will win with humility and lose with dignity”

The sayings for our circle of trust came from the subsequent question in which I asked all of my players what they did not like about youth sports. The top three answers were:

When their team mates were not committed
When the coach or team mates do not respect me
When coaches played their favourites

The repetition of “We will win with humility and lose with dignity” is to reinforce the importance of good sportsmanship, regardless of the outcome of a game. When players leave the dressing room or field those that see them should not know whether they won or lost and as the old cliché goes, how you played the game is what matters. Having a focus on this is what breeds a healthy and positive relationship with the sport they love and is what will encourage young athletes to continue to love it long after they’ve stopped playing youth sports.

Probably the one of the greatest examples of sportsmanship I have ever come across was W. Oregon’s Sara Tucholsky who hit her first ever home run and the other team showed what playing for the love of the game truly means.

Let’s work together to bring the game back to the Kids … where it belongs.

Glen Mulcahy