Poor Sportsmanship – The Other Reasons Why Kids Quit Sports
Lack of respect in youth sports today is killing our athlete’s motivation!
Part I
May 10, 2017
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Lack of sportsmanship is a large part of the reasons our young athlete’s are becoming discouraged so early in their athletic careers. Although the second reason kids are leaving lacrosse is to specialize in other sports as I outlined in prior article Why Kids Quit Lacrosse, the primary reason why kids are leaving lacrosse are a myriad of combined problems within the sport (20.6% of the responses of the 1100 families surveyed by Alberta Lacrosse Association) that are outlined in the table below:
Source: 2014-16 Retention Report – Alberta Lacrosse Association
Of these, the most significant reason was (poor) Sportsmanship and (lack of) Fair Play, the later of which we will talk about in Part II later this week.
Although the retention report was specific to lacrosse, I would argue based on my involvement in various other youth teams with coaches, parents, officials and athletes that the same would hold true in almost all other youth sports today.
Poor Sportsmanship
Have you come across a sign like this at your local arena, soccer field, lacrosse box etc?
How many times have you been to a youth sports game in recent years and seen either players or coaches demonstrating poor sportsmanship? This could include any of the following, all of which that I’ve experienced firsthand;
- Throwing or breaking their sticks because they missed a shot on goal
- Screaming at a young official as they missed a call
- Playing with the intent to injure – knee on knees, elbows to the head, helmet to helmet contact, cross checks or hitting players in the numbers (in the back)
- Disrespectful when shaking hands after a game, or worst case coaches slew footing (tripping) a player or vice versa. (At one of the games I coached a player on opposing team tried to trip me as a prank while shaking hands and was suspended for 5 games as a result!)
- Entering the penalty box throwing helmets, gloves, sticks and using language that is not appropriate even for adults in ANY environment
- Players excessively celebrating goals even when their team is up on the other team by a significant margin (AKA rubbing salt into the wound)
The list goes on and on for the escalating lack of sportsmanship I have seen over the years. I strongly believe this is due largely in part to the fact that many coaches and parents have not been reinforcing the importance of respect; whether for themselves, team mates, coaches, other teams, officials, parents, or others in their community. This includes the apparent lack of understanding that you should win with humility and lose with dignity.
I am coaching High School Rugby this year and our number one agreed upon core value is respect. Even when the going gets tough (which believe me, it has) I’ve taught my athletes to still call the ref sir, and that even though some feel it is a Hooligan’s game … it is played by gentlemen.
Our rugby team’s first game of the season we got, for lack of a better word, thumped. But as I knew going into this season we would be in for some tough games I did two things to kick off the season;
First – I asked every player to write down the top 3 characteristics they wanted to see from their team mates.
Below is the team values summary in no particular order where every player contributed. As you can see, one of our team values is sportsmanship, along with other core values like effort, chemistry, resilience and so on.
Second – We have a circle of trust where the players form a circle, lock arms, and at each practice or game a different player leads the circle strongly stating the following:
“I have your back”
“I will respect you”
“I will be fearless”
“I will not criticize you”
“We will win with humility and lose with dignity”
The sayings for our circle of trust came from the subsequent question in which I asked all of my players what they did not like about youth sports. The top three answers were:
- When their team mates were not committed
- When the coach or team mates do not respect me
- When coaches played their favourites
The repetition of “We will win with humility and lose with dignity” is to reinforce the importance of good sportsmanship, regardless of the outcome of a game. When players leave the dressing room or field those that see them should not know whether they won or lost and as the old cliché goes, how you played the game is what matters. Having a focus on this is what breeds a healthy and positive relationship with the sport they love and is what will encourage young athletes to continue to love it long after they’ve stopped playing youth sports.
Probably the one of the greatest examples of sportsmanship I have ever come across was W. Oregon’s Sara Tucholsky who hit her first ever home run and the other team showed what playing for the love of the game truly means.
Let’s work together to bring the game back to the Kids … where it belongs.
Glen Mulcahy
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