Kids don’t need more structure, they need more free play
Two years back I wrote about 5 different initiatives in the USA that were focusing on unstructured or free play “Bring Back More Free Play” and although I have seen a PARADIGM shift of sorts with some youth sports, others have gone the other extreme where the costs and time commitment are pushing so many kids out.
Compound that with the fact that less and less kids are playing outside without direct supervision like we did as kids and as Peter Gray shared in his great Ted Talk below the decline in free play has lead to an increase in mental health issues.
I think back to my childhood and have shared as the first slide of our core talk, Don’t be a Kid’s Last Coach, titled That was Then where I pulled some random pictures from the internet that reminded me of some of the vivid memories I had growing up.
Yes I played a lot of organized sports and I have great memories of my teammates, coaches, team dinners, pool parties and some of the milestones where we achieved our end of season goals, but a lot of my memories were from the free or unstructured play I had.
Below is a screenshot with images that I have shared in Don’t Be a Kid’s Last Coach that I titled That was Then;
POND/OUTDOOR RINK
I would be totally remiss in starting a presentation about free play if I did not talk about all the time I spent on outdoor rinks and ponds as a kid growing up in Quebec. I also had the opportunity to do so on the Rideau Canal and even the frozen tundra in the Northwest Territories when I lived on Baffin Island. What I remember most and all those that I have asked if they ever played was (a) how long they PLAYED and (b) only stopped because they needed food, go to the bathroom or parents came to get them as it was time for dinner.
Bobby Orr (who was pretty good) attributes the main reason he became the player he became was all the repetitions he had playing on the pond in Parry Sound, and I remind coaches all the time to ensure they have 10 minutes (minimum) of stick and puck (unsupervised ice time) for their teams so it equates to a few days over the season.
His Dad would merely remind him every time he dropped him off, “Bobby, just go out there, have fun, and see what happens”
RECESS SOCCER
I only played one season or organized soccer when I was 12-13 years old and as I really did not know the rules my coach made me the goalie. Having played hockey since I was 3, I must confess being a goalie in soccer was not something I aspired for, seeing only a few shots a game and for the rest of the game looking at the stars or day dreaming.
I opted to play football in lieu and became one of the organized sports I played until Junior
What I do recall about soccer is all the time we played pickup games at recess, lunch hour, after school like the picture above. Many times were on gravel fields and once I moved to BC, many of which were in the rain.
I loved to be outside with my buds just playing for the sake of playing
SANDLOT (UNORGANIZED) BASEBALL
The picture is one of the characters from the Movie Sandlot, whom I refer to is the younger me, at one point my hair was that brighter orange (has darkened over the years) and playing pickup baseball, scub, was one of my favorite activities in spring, summer even when I was playing organized ball.
We would just grab our gloves, hats, a wooden bat, any balls we had and head to the field. We would elect captains and we picked out teams and played for hours on end.
PICKUP BASKETBALL
Another one of my favorites was playing pickup basketball outside at my schools or many of our houses (we moved every year until I was in grade 8) we had a basketball hoop either mounted on our house (leading to a few broken windows that ate up our allowance) or a wooden pole and went thru nets like many kids go thru candy.
The most fierce battles I ever had was the 1 on 1 battles driving the net with my friends or younger brother in our driveway where we all pretended to be Kareem Abdul Jabaar, Larry Bird or Michael Jordan.
Michael Jordan loved pickup basketball so much that he negotiated a For The Love Of The Game Clause in all of his contracts so he could play anywhere, anytime.
I did play a few years of high school basketball, and another favorite was when our gym teacher let our PE class play tackle basketball as most of us were playing hockey, football and rugby. Yes there were some bruises, scrapes and other non-life threatening injuries that school insurance prohibits kids today to keep them in bubble wrap but where else would we have learned resiliency?
BIKE RIDES
I will never forget how my Dad taught me how to ride a bike, he got me training wheels and held my bike the first day and within a few days I had developed the confidence to break away from his firm hand on the handlebar. My mother shared with me many years later as he passed away when I was 8 that after day one he raised the training wheels a bit, then another inch, then another so after day 1 I literally was on my own.
Although I loved to ride my bike from that time, it was a necessity as my father passed away a few years after he “helped me” learn how to ride the bike and my mother did not drive as a result of a couple of really bad accidents she had, one before she was married, the other when I was learning how to ride. The second was so bad that she ended up in Montreal Neuro for over a year to recover from a broken neck and back so lived with my Nanny and my brother with our other grandparents as my fathers job was so demanding.
My Nanny had moved to Ottawa and had remarried to Papa John, and many times that year when the Rideau froze he would take me there so I could go for a skate, play stick and puck and have many vivid memories of those times.
Fast forward to when I got older it was the way I got to practices, games and earned money delivering papers after school for many years.
Because my mother did not drive again until after my kids were born, I was saved from the infamous car ride (home as well as to the games) that many kids have shared is the worst thing about their youth sports experience also, and the only feedback she ever shared was how much she loved watching me play.
SNOWBALL FIGHTS
Like Pond Hockey, I also would be remissful not sharing the infamous snowball fights we had on a regular basis while in Quebec and took great pride in building our arsenal and HUGE forts for us to battle after school each day when the snow was perfect to make snowballs.
Sadly schools have now banned snowball fights as kids could get hurt … I don’t know, I took a few in the eye, forehead and am ok, like everything else, just because you MAY get hurt, does not mean you will.
It is also where I improved my throwing mechanics in the winter for baseball/softball in the spring, without which perhaps I would not have played at the competitive level for many years.
If you have read to this point there are probably many other images that you have of activities that you did as a kid as I did like British Bulldog, Beach Volleyball, Frisbee, playing catch, golf, tennis, racquetball, handball, stickball, street hockey, climbing trees, going to the school playground and so on.
I chose these particular pictures and ask the question in our talks “What is missing in the pictures?”
NO ADULTS – NO PARENTS – NO COACHES – NO OFFICIALS – NO UNIFORMS
NO $300.00 Composite Bats or Hockey Sticks, $1000.00 skates, 300.00 cleats, home and away helmets, gloves, pant shells, hoodies, nameplates etc.
We played for the love of the game.
We made our own teams, rebalanced as needed so no blow-outs occurred and we made our own rules and enforced them
We kept score merely for bragging rights, it was not about banners or trophies like it is today.
We had so much fun that we played for hours on end until it got dark.
In Spring, Summer and winter breaks ….Next Day …. REPEAT and do it all over again or perhaps choose a different sport but sadly those days where kids played for the sake of playing have eroded.
Fast forward to this generation of kids and NBC shares how excited when they get to play “unorganized baseball” that even their own coach fessed up he had no idea how to do so?
Rule # 1 – Parents need to be quiet (if you ask any kid that is what they want when they play)
Rule #2 – Kids pick sides and EVERYONE Plays
Imagine – kids playing sports with no grown-ups involved screaming instructions from the stands, dugout or coaches that run short benches….
When asked after the game what he liked best, one of the players shared THIS (unorganized baseball).
Should we tell your Dad?
YEP.
Parents, Coaches. Executive members remember what it was like when you grew up and the fun you had when you just played for the sake of playing?
If we shifted the needle to promote unorganized games and focus on creativity, skill development, making friends, having fun to follow models like Norway and Sweden until the kids are in high school the current attrition rates where 70% quit by the age of 13 other nations are experiencing will reduce significantly GUARANTEED.
Kids don’t need more structure, they need more FREE PLAY.
Parents – Stop keeping up with the Jones with travel ball, Off-Season select teams, specialty trainers and encourage your kids to play For the Love of the Game again.
Let’s all work together to bring the game back to the kids …. Where it belongs.
BONUS – Download a FREE printable PDF version of this blog HERE
