Organization Executive – Page 8

Why All Hockey Coaches Should Wear Helmets

Posted August 19, 2019January 27, 2022 Glen MulcahyPosted in Athlete, Coach, Organization Executive, Parents

Picture of an image in the photo album I received after coaching peewee AAA

Having suffered a few major concussions myself I can relate all too well of the aftermath and challenges for recovery.

My last concussion had nothing to do with playing sports, however, it was when I was on a friends stag and while at one of the many bars we visited that evening that I share via those that told me after the fact as I have no recollection of the events I received a serious beating by three men when I jumped to the aid of my buddy who had been hitten over the head with a beer mug and knocked out.

The only recollection I have of the event was when I awoke in ICU of the hospital I had been taken to a couple of days later and had NO idea where I was, how I had gotten there, and recall vividly that I had the worst headache EVER.

At my side was my then-girlfriend, now my wife of 25 years who wept when I woke up saying she was so happy I was OK to which I said to her, OK? My head is exploding, I’m hungry and I want to get out of here.

Thanks to my mother being in a couple of major car accidents when I was young, the second leading to her being hospitalized for over a year while she recovered from a broken neck and back I have always had an aversion of being in hospitals, particularly ICU.

My girlfriend drove me home and took several pictures of my beaten face and bruising on my back and arms for evidence for the criminal prosecution which I buried away long ago (back in the day when digital was not commonplace as it is today) but another recollection I recall is how I did not recognize myself as my face was so bruised from the punches and kicks to the face I had taken.

I share this with you as I wanted you to know that I can relate the challenges that athletes face today when they are dealing with a major concussions, it took me over 3 months before I was symptom free from my last one (diagnosed) but as a result of this being my third, and the highest severity, concussion the specialist that I was dealing with said I would have to stop playing any form of contact sports which meant my club rugby and adult recreational hockey days were over.

Having been an athlete for the better part of my life to that point, most of which playing competitively in various organized contact sports it is the reason why I then shifted to playing slo-pitch (although as years evolved and I took the mound as a pitcher dodging the dingers was no the smartest idea) and coaching.

Looking back at dealing with the fog, headaches, balance issues, nausea and even bouts with depression and frustration I can say first hand that dealing with a major concussion is not pleasant, particularly when you are very active. The other part to this day that I have deal with is the complete loss of memory not only of the event itself but approximately 2 weeks prior to when I was concussed. Many of my friends at the time were members of the Vancouver Police Department, Paramedics, Fire Department who all helped me fill in the blanks as several were at the scene and argued that the criminal proceedings would be a slam dunk (which only one of the three was prosecuted due to “technical issues” but that is another story in itself)

As a result of my recovery forcing me to have bed rest, dark room for a few months, I also missed two months of my third term at BCIT of my diploma in Marketing Management that followed my degree in Physical Education in UBC as my career aspirations were to get into the business side of sports.

That never came to fruition until many years later when I recognized we are in the business of developing youth into adults, and I have now coached boys, girls, young men and women for over 25 years of coaching and as a result of this and other experiences I dealt with growing up taught me the importance of resilience and how to overcome adversity, one of the core life lessons one can learn thru sports.

Source: Mike Hensen/The London Free Press/Postmedia Network

I write about the impacts of concussions this week as recently read another article that Eric Lindros contributed to coincide with recent symposium regarding concussions and applaud him for becoming a passionate advocate for concussion awareness due to being forced to retire from the game, like his brother who did so much earlier in his career, as a result of concussions he sustained.

I don’t think anyone that has followed hockey can forget when Scott Stevens hit Eric in the playoffs where he blatantly hit him directly in the head at full speed leading to one of his many concussions. Stevens was infamous for those types of hits (another was the infamous blindside hit to Paul Kariya) but fortunately, the NHL has taken steps to eliminate them from the game and concussion protocols subject to evaluations if suspected to ensure a concussed player like Paul does not return to play in the same game.

Here as some of the numbers pertaining concussions in general, however, not specifically impacting the game of hockey that was highlighted in the recent article;

One in five of us have a lifetime risk of concussion
Half happen to youth under 19
60% during sport and recreational activities
One in 10 youth suffers concussion requiring medical attention
30% of those visits are recurring
Majority return to play within a month but 30% have longer-term symptoms

As I went thru each one of the points above, I check all the boxes but am happy to say have been symptom-free since I shifted to coaching many years back.

One of the kids that I coached in hockey the following year met many of the above also he was unable to return as he fell out of hammock in the summer and hit his head so hard on a rock he had to take a year off from all forms of contact so it does not have to be contact in hockey, or other contact sports like football, rugby, concussions can happen no differently than other injuries.

Fast forward from the day I woke up in the ICU, when I first started coaching Minor Hockey I did not wear a helmet, rather a baseball cap as did almost every other coach at the time as we naively thought we did not have to and did so for several years until Hockey Canada made wearing helmets mandatory for coaches.

This change went into effect in the 2008-9 season, after a coach in Alberta died after falling on the ice and other a coma with a head injury. At the time, like there is with any changes for safety reasons there was a lot of push back from coaches. The rule now applies to all winter minor hockey coaches of sanctioned leagues, Junior B, A, and university coaches.

Ironically, the very year that the helmet rule was implemented, I was coaching a couple of teams, helping my sons Atom A1 (AAA) team and also coaching an Atom rec team to honour my agreement with a player that returned to play I would coach his team after taking a year off after his father passed away.

During one of our early 6 AM practices for the Atom Recreation team, I was talking to my assistant coach explaining the drill set up as the kids were doing stick and puck before I knew it I was lying horizontal on the ice after player skated into me. Per my AC, he had caught an edge and slid into the back of my knew and I fell backwards and had hit my head on the ice. I did blackout for what felt like a few seconds perhaps more and then all the players and my AC came over and said COACH are you OK?

Thankfully I was able to get up and finish the practice (albeit felt a little woozy having my bell rung) and was reminded why coaches should be wearing helmets for their safety just as much as players wear for theirs.

It is that last point that I wanted to address in this week’s post, last week I was asked to present for the Pacific Coach Amateur Hockey Associations Coach Coordinator annual meeting on the changes to this year’s evaluation process of competitive coaches and the risk manager reminded all the coach coordinators that any outside skills providers they have on the ice MUST wear helmets. Many of which that also run skills sessions in Spring Hockey do not wear helmets when doing so but if they do so when on the ice for sanctioned minor hockey ice sessions the insurance could be voided.

I get the fact that wearing a baseball hat is more comfortable than wearing a helmet, and many skills providers are very adept skaters, but as a result of a helmet saving me from yet another head trauma, worse yet potential death, I can’t for the life of me understand how one wouldn’t.

To date, the helmet rule does not apply to spring coaches, independent skills providers that are not certified by Hockey Canada or NHL/AHL and other pro league coaches which has me shaking my head in disbelief how their insurance costs are not thru the roof as a result.

Kudos to Hockey Canada, PSO’s and RSO’s like PCAHA for mandating minor hockey coaches to wear helmets for their safety just as the players have to wear them for theirs.

I only hope that spring hockey programs, NHL and affiliate professional team (i.e. AHL) coaches would follow-suit and not wait for a coach to be seriously injured or die as a result of not wearing a helmet during practices.

That’s just my two cents.

BONUS – Download a FREE printable PDF version of this blog HERE

Why Coaches Must Teach the importance of FINISHING

Posted August 13, 2019January 27, 2022 Glen MulcahyPosted in Athlete, Coach, Organization Executive, Parents

Why coaches must teach the importance of FINISHING.

In addition to all the players I have coached over the years, I have also now worked with 15 University and College co-students (our 16^th will be starting in a few weeks) who have been instrumental in helping us develop our websites, social media, digital content and hosting of online events and podcasts, I have come to appreciate how today’s generation(s) (Millennials and Gen Z) differs from Gen X (the baby boomers).

Although each one of them has left their own legacy based on projects we started at the beginning of a co-op term that I have looked back in awe at times what they have accomplished, I must confess there one of my pet peeves having worked with the Millennials and now Gen Z is their lack of appreciation of not only starting a task but finishing a task assigned at times.

Generation Z Attention Span is only 8 seconds, LESS than a goldfish

I continue to see instances even of co-op students and many of which share our passion as they played various sports think nothing of taking on a project or task with vigor but due to their upbringing in the digital era with shortened attention spans with all the time they spend on screens, social media it has been something I have to reinforce with all of them.

Some examples of instances where I had to go to the student’s desks after they thought they were finished to FINISH the task or project;

#1 – We have been a long term sponsor of a charity “Dreams Take Flight” and each year have provided them various samples, promotional items from past and current lives and in back to back summers when I prompted our co-op student to help stage, they would return back to their desks before we were finished. I would then have to ask for them to come back so we could finish what we started.

#2 – Recently I asked one of our students to re: and re: two PC computers from our conference room to another area of the office and although they did a great job with the computer in the conference room, they merely plugged in the other and hooked up to the screen and then returned back to their desk but failed to test the mouse, keyboard, internet, audio where I then had to finish the task assigned.

#3 – Various other students over the years I would assign tasks of projects to and they would take on with vigor and would get to approximately 80% completion and would shift to other projects either as they thought they were finished or suspect their attention waned, particularly with some of the more mundane tasks like manually filing, bookkeeping, that I would have to come to them and highlight they were not finished the first project. It reminded me every time just how short their attention spans could be but is direct cause in effect of their upbringing thru the digital era.

I could cite many other examples but as I run our organization now incorporates the art of coaching over the years including growth mindset, safe to fail environment, connection, developing trust, cultures of excellence etc. in lieu of getting frustrated with every student all too commonplace today with coaches and parents criticizing kids for making mistakes I sit down with them and review why it is important for them to not only commit, but FINISH the task assigned. This is no different that when coaches run drills during practices and remind players not to cheat the drill (rush thru it as fast as possible) which completely defeats the purpose.

Each time I would do so I would use analogies going back to their sports experiences where coaches should reinforce the importance of FINISHING (AKA Go THRU, not TO, the line).

Analogies that I have shared with them with videos (Gen Z is highly visual and if you can’t beat them, join them) top 5 in reverse order;

#5 – Life is a game of inches (Rugby version)

We play as a team or we will die as individuals.

#4 – Don’t celebrate until you FINISH

#3 – Never Give up, it takes a village

Everything about the importance of finishing the race including the epitome of sportsmanship from a 17 year old high school student, reminscient of when Derek Redmond’s father assisted him finish the race in Barcelona 1992 Summer Olympics (video protected by IOC)

#2 – Run THRU, not TO, the goal line

Just one of many examples why players must run thru, not to, the goal line

Many would share that they never had coaches that reinforced the importance of commitment, finishing or sportsmanship.

To which I would shake my head in disbelief as sports should be the medium to develop youth into adults and if coaches are not reinforcing the importance of Commitment and FINISHING is no wonder why today’s generation is rushing thru tasks and not completing 100%.

I just sat down with my current student to review a project that he had taken on, but did not complete the last step as he got distracted with a newer task that was assigned to remind him of the importance and reviewed all of the analogies above to which he responded no coach he had had ever shared with him.

Below is our all-time favorite example of how a player was able to accomplish a lifetime goal and finish with the support of opponents, the epitome of sportsmanship, yet another area that I have had to remind many Gen Z players of various teams I have coached the importance of.

And Our All Time Favorite at #1

Sara Tucholsky First Home Run – Ultimate Sportsmanship to achieve a lifetime goal

If you are a coach of any sport today if you don’t reinforce life skills of commitment, finishing, and sportsmanship you have not prepared them for life beyond sport.

Remember, our role as coaches is not to make a living (as most coaches are volunteers), it is to make a difference by developing youth into adults.

Let’s all work together to bring the game back to the kids.

What do parents expect for their kids in youth sports?

Posted July 30, 2019January 27, 2022 Glen MulcahyPosted in Athlete, Coach, Organization Executive, Parents

As we head into another fall season of a myriad of youth sports, thought this would be a good time to share with coaches the importance of having answers to the top 3 questions that parents will be asking in their upcoming parent meetings.

#1 – What is your background as a coach?

This is particularly top of mind for parents in the competitive streams, many of which will make decisions whether they will support their son or daughter trying out for competitive teams based on the coaches that have been selected by organizations.

When it comes to the recreational stream, particularly the earlier age groups, parents more often than not are happy that someone put their hand up to coach the 5-8 year old age groups and are more concerned when/where they should drop their kids off for various team events than whether their kids are in qualified hands.

Whether it be recreational grassroots level or higher level older age group teams, however, this is an answer that all coaches should have the answer to before they meet the parets for the first time.

Things like;

Playing experience in the respective sport they are coaching
Certification they have completed
If they have children themselves (more often than not parents are those that start coaching the youngest age groups)
How many years they have coached
How committed they will be (dedication is key, coaches should be there for the kids)

#2 – Why do you Coach?

It amazes me when I speak and ask coaches the questions to provide answers to that very question how few hands go up to begin with but am thankful for those that to stand up and share all kinds of reasons why they coach like;

They love the game and want to give back
They want to help kids learn the skills of the game, but also skills of life
They Love Kids and watching them grow
They want to help kids have a positive experience
They don’t want kids to have a bad coach like they did

It is at this point where I also hear coaches shared their core values like respect, sportsmanship, winning with humility, losing with dignity, developing leaders and teaching various other life skills that the kids will need beyond the sport.

Then the one that gets me the most, when they share how passionate they are about the game and kids to love it as much as they do.

One of the things I share all the time is kids should love the game more at the end of the season than they did at the beginning of the season.

Ironically, as we shared in last weeks post, the #1 thing that parents are looking for in terms of their kid’s sports experience is that they develop character, which is followed by them having fun and making friends.

Great Coaches, as we have shared in past, are ones that truly care about the kids the coach, and those that are passionate about the game, as a parent, they had me at HI.

#3 – What is your coaching philosophy?

This again is one that I find we really need to work on with grassroots coaches, when I prompt coaches to share their philosophies either en masse or in small groups, only a small % are able to do so. In part because they are still developing their philosophies of coaching, in part because they have never put it in writing.

Once they do so, it makes them accountable so if they talk the talk, they must walk the walk not just for the players but also for the parents, board members, officials etc.

I remember last year when I put forth the query in a clinic I was running, one of the coaches stood up and shared a very detailed coaching philosophy, so much to the point, that I then worked with him after the fact to tweak it so it was not more than a couple of sentences.

Think about it being your mission statement for WHY you coach, what your raison d’ê·tre (reason for being) which goes hand in hand with your core values that you have learned from parents, family, education, work etc.

Like that coach, I had a very lengthy coaching philosophy that was several paragraphs long until I reviewed it with one of my mentors and he told me that it had to be no more than two sentences … there was no way I would be able to share my philosophy with board members when I was interviewing for coaching positions or parents after the fact when met them for the first of several meetings over the season.

My philosophy evolved over the next couple of years to one statement:

FUNdamentals, not winning, at all Costs.

Why is Fun in Caps?

I believe strongly in developing kids skills of the game in part, but more so the skills of life to make a difference by developing youth into adults.

AND

I Have learned there is a fine line between winning and winning at all costs.

Without going into a deep dive on the article itself, just wanted to touch on a recent article co-authored by two faculty members at the University of Waterloo posted in the conversation which was reshared by the Vancouver Sun under permission.

The Conversation Title:

“Making Youth Soccer less Competitive: Better Skills or sign or coddling kids”

In the paper edition of the Vancouver Sun the article was titled:

Removing Competition: Good or Bad for Kids?

In the Vancouver Sun Digital Edition the article was titled:

Ryan Snelgrove and Daniel Wigfield: Is less-competitive youth soccer a sign of coddled kids?

My comments to the digital edition version:

Below is a image we shared out in the fall where the GTHL had a novice hockey game (8 yr olds) still playing full ice hockey where the final score was 41-0 although they only showed 6-0 on the scoreboard so as to “not hurt the kids feelings” that was referenced in the article why Ontario Soccer has shifted to the model of not keeping track of scores U12.

Like the Ontario Soccer article, there were two sides that came forward, those supporting the move to push competitive play to later age groups, and those arguing that competition introduced at earlier age groups teaches kids life lessons.

Below are just a number of other articles on page one of google pertaining to the pros and cons of competition with several other articles on subsequent pages with those for and those against having scoreboards, scoresheets for the younger age groups

I know that there is always two sides to every story, but if we let the adults who are pushing the pay to play winning at all costs model becomes the norm, not the exception, the kids LOSE regardless of the age group.

What coaches must be cognizant about as they head into the upcoming seasons is what both parents and the kid’s expectations are.

The top three Parents expectations they share with me when doing presentations are for their kids to build character, have fun and make friends.

The top three kids share why sports are fun (the reason they play) per Amanda Viseks research and my surveys of kids in numerous sports is when they get to try their best (work on their skills), when coaches treat them with respect (by treating them with fairness, teaching them the skills of the game and of life) AND when they get playing time (kids just want to PLAY).

And if you are the naysayer or sarcastic adult think that removing the scoreboard is for the kid’s sake, not hurt their feelings, coddle them no, it could not be farther from the truth. Kids keep track of all the goals, assists, who the top players are, who the players are that need to develop and so on. Before youth sports became adultified as it is now, kids formed their own teams, made and enforced their own rules, rebalanced as needed so games were competitive NOT blowouts or having coaches run short benches to win games to pad their resumes, not to develop all kids on their teams.

The reason why there is no scoreboard in the earlier age groups already in Soccer, Hockey, Baseball and many other sports to follow is so that the parents and coaches don’t take the game too seriously which has led to bench-clearing brawls involving the most infamous one to date of parents fighting at 7-year-old baseball game because a 13-year-old official made a call the spectators did not agree with.

Really? Is winning or losing at that age group really matter? Should it not be about developing the kid’s love for the game, working on the core skills, and all the other benefits kids can reap from playing sports?

Having worked with many parents I can tell you first hand none went to this game expecting to get into a brawl, they had hoped to just go watch their kids play but as winning has become the epicenter of youth sports, anything impacting a win or loss (in this case the call by a KID) set fuel to a fire.

We (as in all the adults) must remember that youth sports are games played by KIDS, with many of the official’s kids themselves, and too many are quitting before they should and once they do, many don’t return to the game they once loved.

Let’s all work together to bring the game back to the kids … where it belongs.

Why Coaches need to teach character

Posted July 25, 2019January 27, 2022 Glen MulcahyPosted in Athlete, Coach, Organization Executive, Parents

For all the years that I have coached various sports, one of the most stressful times of the year for coaches, parents and players are the tryouts for competitive teams or even skills evaluations of recreational (formerly known as house) teams.

As the upcoming hockey tryout season for rep teams is fast approaching and all associations will be hosting their respective tryouts here are some tips for coaches to look for (and parents to share with their aspiring rep player son or daughter)

Rep player evaluations consist of three areas

#1 Core Skills

This is when evaluators will look at players go thru various ice sessions to evaluate players core hockey skills, skating, passing, shooting, balance, agility, and contact (body checking if applicable bantam age groups and up). Players are scored either out of 5 or 10 then after each skate evaluators (hopefully organizations have independent or ones not involved with the age group for impartiality) to compare notes and then players are ranked.

Many organizations have policies that the top X forwards (5-6) and 2-3 defencemen will receive spots on the rep teams and then the coaches have the discretion to fill the remaining spots on the team based on the holes they are looking to fill.

#2 Game Play

Players will be randomly put on to teams to be evaluated in terms of their performance during gameplay, this is where coaches not only reaffirm their skills but how they play positionally, what they do without the puck (as most of the game they will not have the puck on the stick), whether they backcheck, play on the defensive side of the puck, demonstrate sportsmanship, are unselfish and so forth.

#3 Character

This is the hardest area for coaches to evaluate, this is what I call the “Fire in the Belly Section” and coincidentally in a recent survey, I did for a parent presentation the #1 expectation that parents have for their kid’s youth sports experience is they will develop character.

Prior to every tryout of any of the sports I have coached over the years, the only tip that shared with players is the importance that they may be evaluated at any time during a skill session or scrimmage/exhibition games and share one of many great woodenisms below;

Asides from watching body language which everyone in the arena can see, below are some of the key ones that I recommend coaches look for when evaluating players for rep hockey tryouts (same would hold true for any other sports), which is why I have argued for years that sports don’t build character, it’s the coaches in sports that do.

GRIT – The Passion and Perseverance for long-term and meaningful goals.

When it comes to tryouts, it can be a stressful experience for kids, but what can really affect their stress levels is how their parents support them to reach their realistic goals.

COURAGE – The first step of demonstrating courage is to commit to trying out in the first place, I have known many kids over the years that had the skills to play at the competitive level but lacked the confidence in their ability that they would be able to make rep teams in the first place.

The other part of demonstrating courage during the tryouts are things like how hard they battle along the boards for pucks, in front of the net for dirty goals, carrying the puck up the ice, going into the corners as a D man with a forechecker coming fast and so on. If kids shy away from the puck but have the skills, chances are the more courageous players are going to be selected for the AAA team vs. not.

SELFLESSNESS – Are they a puck mover or a puck hog?

When I surveyed older players (after 13 years old) what they did not like about hockey, one of the top answers I received was when their teammates were selfish. Hockey is a team sport, so when I have had selfish players on teams at the beginning of the season, I talk to them and say if they won’t pass the puck, then perhaps they should consider playing golf in lieu.

COMMITMENT – Do they show up early for every ice time, are they the last to leave the ice? Are they putting in extra time at home working on their shots, strength, cardio, balance and agility? Have they attended every ice session or have they missed any (the exception being family issues)

One of the things I remind all players, and now various co-op students that have worked with us over the years … if you’re not early you’re late.

LEADERSHIP – Do they talk to other players on the bench, do they communicate on the ice by calling defensive plays, calling for passes, letting players know to get their head up, lead warm-ups before games etc. ?

The ones that I look for are the players that bring their toolbox to every ice time, work hard, play thru adversity (other players chirping, slashing) never complain, are their early and leave the ice last, help the coaches clean up and just set an example of being a great teammate

SPORTSMANSHIP – Do they celebrate goals “they” score excessively or do they humbly circle with their teammates and thank them for making passes to set them up? Do they have “pissy” fits when they don’t score or have the puck taken away from them, make mistakes that may lead to a goal being scored against their team and so on.

PATIENCE – When they have the puck on their stick, do they methodically up the ice with the puck, make passes at the right time (without telegraphing), wait for teammates to get open, make that first past as a D man to get the puck out of the zone OR do they panic when they get to the puck and throw it right up the strong side of the boards to be intercepted easily by the opposing team?

CREATIVITY – do they try things in the skills sessions as well as evaluation scrimmages as they have the confidence to do so OR do they not take risks as they are scared of making mistakes?

The latter is usually a sign that they lack confidence due to the fact that adults have instructed them not to do things.

Many of the above are the intangibles that we look for as coaches when selecting players for our teams but are probably the hardest things to teach kids which is why coaches have to recognize the importance of not only teaching the skills of the game but the skills of life.

The last tip I would provide for coaches, if it appears that players have the skills but lack various character traits outlined above, more often than not you would be better off opting for a player perhaps with a little less skill but with the character you are looking for who fits your desired culture.

The Reason why the ALL blacks have the winningest record in the last decade of any sports organization is one of their core values is to recruit players with character that will fit their culture (teamwork, hard work, commitment, resilient, selfless, communication) vs. those having more skills and lack character traits to fit in.

This will permit your team to go thru the storming stage much faster than if you had a few players that not buying into the desired culture you aspire for the team, as Peter Drucker made famous;

How to engage, not deal with, Parents

Posted July 18, 2019January 27, 2022 Glen MulcahyPosted in Athlete, Coach, Organization Executive, Parents

As we are about a month away now from fall seasons of various seasons starting to ramp up in hockey, ringette, basketball, soccer, volleyball, and other fall sports I thought this would be a good time to share some insight on the importance of engaging parents so that you can ultimately avoid some of the parental issues that coaches run into.

For many years I have shared out a video from Don Lucia for hockey clinics, his keynote address at the University of Minnesota to coincide with USA Hockey’s roll-out of their ADM (American Development Model) and he stars the keynote by saying;

“People think that I have the best job in the world (Head Coach of University of Minnesota Men’s Division I Hockey Team) but I would say that the best job would be the head coach in an orphanage ….. NO parents to deal with” Don Lucia

I immediately share with all the coaches that I will provide insight over the course of the one or two-day clinic how they can avoid dealing with, rather engage parents, to set themselves up for a great season.

This week I received an email from a coach mentor asking me for some insight how coaches can deal with various forms of conflict on their teams including how to deal with team conflicts, when team parents divide into to which I replied back it all comes down to how the coaches start the season and subsequent meetings as every team will go thru forming – storming – norming – performing stages that we shared in prior post “Coaching your team to grow, tackle challenges and deliver”

Probably the #1 question I have had from coaches over the years is “how do I deal with parents” which then leads into a conversation where I reinforce the importance of engaging and supporting parents vs. dealing with them when they have issues.

As the old cliché goes, prevention is 99% of the cure, and one of the things that I learned very early coaching youth sports teams of both girls and boys was the importance of being proactive, vs. reactive, with my parent group and recognizing they were part of the team.

As the years have evolved, the dynamics of “parents” has changed also with single parents, divorced/separated, guardians or parents that are members of the LGBTQ community so has required adaptation as gone are the days where Dad is the breadwinner and Mom stays at home to raise the kids and take care of the house due to raising costs of mortgages and overall cost of living.

We also are now starting to work with several organizations who have identified the importance of parental support/education in part to address the issues that now seems commonplace with parents acting up in the stands/sidelines of games screaming or even getting into physical altercations with officials, coaches and players.

So how can you ENGAGE and support your parent group?

#1 – Start off by working on your seasonal plan well before the season starts to include;

Practice Themes by month
Game Schedules home and away
Tournaments (ensure for out of town parents vote on)
Timing and agenda’s for meet the coaches, parent-only meeting, player meeting(s), parent and player meetings, finance meetings and any others that will provide insight in terms of the ship going in the RIGHT direction

One of the main points to cover in all meetings is the reasons why kids PLAY, to begin with, which could even include sharing surveys of players which I have done for years, ask all your players as teams are formed the following;

Why do you play X (whatever sport you are coaching)
What is fun about it (#1 reason is fun)
What is not fun about it?
What support would you like from us (Coaches) and your parents?

BEST way – do this as an exercise in your player/parent meeting and ask parents similar questions then review to ensure that parents expectations align with the players (more often than not their expectations are results orientated (win the championship) and players are process orientated (make friends, get better at my skills)

Other items to consider for seasonal planning:

Development focus and contracts with any third party development organizations (i.e. for dryland, skills coaches to come to practices, strength and conditioning, sport psychologists, nutritionists) contingent on the level that you are coaching.
Baseline, Mid and End of Season Testing of players to PROVE that they have developed over the course of the season
Individual and Team Goal Setting
Identification of Team Values and Culture
Communication preferences (i.e. Team Snap for the calendar, updates), email for meetings, face to face for issues (no email/text as they can be taking out of context and go viral)
Budget flow (initial and subsequent cheques needed to cover team expenses)

#2 – The Meetings

A. Parents/Players meet the coaches – this is the opportunity for parents and players to meet coaches of teams BEFORE the season starts so the coaches can share their backgrounds, why they coach, their philosophies and executive summary of their seasonal plan

B. Parent Meeting once teams are formed – this is when coaches would do a deep dive into their philosophy, why they coach, backgrounds, goals for the team and players for the season and also touch on things like finance (budget), recruiting volunteers (manager, treasurer, safety people, assistant coaches, tournament coordinator, team parent, den dads/moms, snack coordinator, jersey keepers etc). This is also the time when coaches share their expectations for parental behavior in the stands/sidelines at games, practices or any other team function.

C. Team Meeting(s) – I traditionally have 3 early in the season (a) meet the coaches to share same info shared to parents, (b) ask players to come up with core values for THEIR team (coaches are merely the facilitators) and (c) Reviewing discipline for various forms of harassment (zero tolerance for any form)

D. Player/Parent Meeting – Review codes of conduct and all sign off on so can hold them accountable, review team goals, reinforce the importance for parents to understand reasons why their kids are playing and their goals

E. Coach Meeting(s) – One of the biggest challenges that newer head coaches have is they fall short in terms of recognizing that their assistant coaches also can provide valuable insight in terms of the team, practice playing, seasonal planning and also should be assigned specific responsibilities (head coach – big picture, assistants to work with goalies, defense and offense)

Communication – Coaches should share insight every week about team progress, scheduling, goals for practices, tips for parents and players, resources so all are on board. As the cliché goes, it takes a village to raise a child and is important that everyone is on board so that the ship moves in the right direction

#3 – Make it Fun

Depending on the sport, the season can be 3 months to as long as 8 so a few times per season I encourage coaches to have practices and event team events including parents so that they can develop chemistry.

Early season tournaments are a good means to do this, other activities may include things like non-related pickup sports activities like renting a gym and playing other sports where parents have opportunities to participate OR go to a theme park, play mini-golf, movies, the beach, biking and so forth.

One of the activities that I did with my Novice Hockey Team we named “Game On” and our kids would go to one of the parent’s houses on Sundays that we did not have games (our practices were during the week) and the players would play street hockey.

It started out pretty formally, parents would drop off their players for an hour only like it was a practice or game, but as the weeks, months evolved in the season the boys would ask can we PLAY longer, and Sunday happened to be NFL games parents would go inside to watch a game while the players played then parents were invited to join for GAME ON at times.

Playing street hockey as a parent with 8-year-old kids was so much fun for me and all the other parents.

In essence, whatever you can do to develop relationships not just with your players, but your parent group will set you up for a great season.

Let’s all work together to bring the game back to the kids … where it belongs

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