This is an update to last years post that I posted in December 2017 as I have continued to interact with coaches at conferences and clinics and ask them;
What are the top 3 qualities of the greatest coach (or teacher, manager) you
ever had?
Last fall our co-op student created a tracking sheet to summarize all the characteristics that I had recorded by various means and now our “informal” database is just shy of 1000 coaches, board members and even parents.
By no means is this a formal research study, but the below pie chart outlines the updated results for the top 10 characteristics;
Just as it was last year, and every time I do the exercise, the Number 1 characteristic was the coaches cared about their players. This also was one of the characteristics when I talked to the amazing guest speakers in our summer and winter digital summits we hosted thru our digital arm For the Love of the Game.
Number 1 (always)
Not only do they care about helping them develop into the best athletes they
can be, but the best people.
This is what John Wooden, Clare Drake, Phil Jackson in past and current coaches like Pete Carroll, Mike Kryzyzewski, Sean McVay and others have demonstrated or shared with journalists what was really important to them as they guided their teams to achieve at the highest level.
Coaches that care, not only teach the skills of the game, but the skills of
life.
Number 2 (moreso the reason kids play but coaches must foster an engaging environment for it to be fun)
Another of the top characteristics was they coaches made the experience fun, both in games and practices as well as other team activity.
Many misinterpret that I am not competitive because my philosophy of coaching is “FUNdamentals, not winning, at all costs”. Like all the great coaches who worked on the process of developing all players on their teams that lead to results on the scoreboard, I know how important it is for players to have fun, even on the most competitive teams.
As I have been saying for years;
Mike Babcock, now the highest paid NHL coach with Stanley Cup, World Championship and Olympic Gold achievements on his resume is another one of those great coaches. When he became the coach of the Toronto Maple Leafs, he shared that his main role was to develop all the players into great young men. Prior to the 2010 Olympic Gold Medal game, when he was coaching some of the best players in the WORLD at the time, when asked by the media what he told the team before the game he said “I just told them to go out there and have fun.”
Many people think when kids they just want to have fun that it means goofing
off, but kids actually don’t want their team mates to do so they want to play,
the want to compete, they want play for the love of the game. That is what fun
is.
Number 3:
When Amanda Visek did her groundbreaking study and identified the 81 characteristics of what is fun in youth sports, the number 2 reason, second only to having the opportunity to try your best was when coaches treated players with respect
Although I would NEVER consider myself to be in the same company as John Wooden, his three rules are very similar to mine and his third was “Never criticize your teammates”, mine is Respect. Respect yourself, teammates, coaches, officials, other teams, parents, class mates, parents and so on.
I believe respect is a two-way street, if coaches respect their players then
they players will in turn respect their coaches and vice versa.
Sadly, although the many coaches in youth sports do respect their players, there are coaches that think nothing of screaming at a player, singling them out in front of the teams, criticizing their mistakes over and over again and other ways that are not only disrespectful but crossing the fine line from demanding (pushing players to be their best) to demeaning (belittling players).
It is no wonder why 70% are quitting by the age of 13 in majority of sports, but as I recently found out due to changes that USA hockey made to focus on fun, ensure the coaches respect their players and recognizing that it is all about the kids, they have moved the needle where they only lose 8% of their kids by the age 13.
Number 4:
One of the key takeaways for every talk that I do for coaches is “Care Passionately“. For me, caring and passion go hand in hand, when coaches are truly passionate for their sport, the kids will become passionate.
When I think of the greatest coaches I had in many sports, same held true for me, they took on the role as father figure and truly cared about me become a better player, but also a well rounded person. Many of which were so passionate about the game I could not follow suit which is one of the reasons why I played so many growing up.
The remaining top 10 characteristics from our 2018 summary include great communicators, were positive, patient, encouraging, fair and listened.
Coaches can also fill the gap for kids like me who lost their father at a young age to guide them, mentor them, and steer them out of trouble if they head down that path.
Great teachers do the same, if it had not been for my Grade 12 French Teacher who took me aside one day and said “you can do better” after I acted up in class for the umpteenth time who knows where I would have ended up.
She was the one that motivated me to pursue post-secondary education and as a result I was the first of all my cousins from both our extended Roman Catholic Families (over 30 first cousins) to graduate from University and one of my proudest moments as my Nanny (grandmother) was there to see me accept my degree.
Think back when you grew up, did you ever take a class in school and thought
you would HATE it like calculus, accounting, history, literature? Then to you
surprise you ending up loving the course – Why? Because your teacher was so
passionate about the subject.
Same holds true for youth sports … if coaches are passionate about all aspects of the game they will instill that same passion in their players so they love the game more at the end of the season than they did at the beginning.
Other – the list of other responses were endless but included characteristics like calm, challenging, committed, confident, consistent, disciplined, demanding (not demeaning), energetic, enthusiastic, fair, firm, forgiving, genuine, trustful, inspiring, integrity, invested, kind, listens, motivator, organized, personable, positive, role model, teacher and leader.
In addition to care passionately and making it fun, please make it safe (to fail and for all forms of harassment), teach skills and lastly …..
There has a lot of press coverage the last few weeks since
the Boston Red Sox won their 4th World Series since 2004 which had broke the 86
year old curse of the Bambino (Babe Ruth) after they traded him to the Yankees
in 1920 (no players or picks, $100,000 in cash as then owner wanted to part
ways with Babe due to his off field antics).
The Yankees with Babe Ruth went on to win 7 AL championships and 4 world
series in the next 15 years and have won 27 total as a franchise, 3X more than
the Boston Red Sox (9).
The city of Boston has also seen the Patriots win 5 NHL
Superbowl’s over that same time period (first in 2004), and Boston Celtics win
the NBA Championship in 2008.
Mark Wahlberg was interviewed on recent NFL halftime as he
is a huge Boston fan of all 3 teams, and I know many (including myself) would
like to see other dynasties arise in the three respective professional sports,
but the Red Sox had the second longest drought in professional sports for a
championship to the Chicago Cubs who broke their 109 curse 2 years back when Joe
Maddon lead the team to their World Series Title
Many anecdotes were shared about how Joe Maddon lead his
team to their historic victory that wrapped up with 5 MILLION people
celebrating the Cubs amazing run in 2016.
Unlike Joe Maddon, whom had been a MLB manager of the Tampa
Bay Rays for 8 years before he became manager of the Cubs in 2015, Alex Cora
proved all the nay sayers wrong when he was given the nod to become the Red Sox
Manager.
Why did those question the Red Sox Decision?
Because he had never managed a team before and only had 1
year of experience after he hung up his cleats after 14 seasons as a player as
bench coach with the Houston Astro’s where he won his second world series as a
coach, his first was as a player for the 2007 Red Sox, their second in three
years after the 86 year drought.
Although there were many naysayers out of the clubhouse, soon after the season Alex had buy-in from all the players of their goals and core values.
“It’s been a pleasure to play for the guy”
Matt Barnes
When the players were asked after the World Series victory
how they did it, every single player said shared anecdotes how Alex Cora
believed in them and the morning of the Game 5 Victory with parents invited to
be involved in the team breakfast, every parent walked up the Alex to shake his
hand, give him a hug and express their gratitude for how he treated their sons.
WHO does that in Professional Sports the day of what could
be their biggest games of their careers?
Invite the parents and other family members to join them in
the hotel for breakfast?
Alex Cora, from the onset of the season in his first year as
a manager talked with all of his players about the importance of family,
particularly as new members were added to the team to provide the depth for
pennant race and World Series victory.
This is why he felt it was important that all family members
be involved when traditionally teams would not permit family members until
AFTER the series finished to share in their celebration.
That morning, the parents of each player walked up to him,
shook his hand, hugged and thanked him for the way that he treated their sons.
Treated with Respect, Love, Dignity and demonstrated that he
truly cared about his players.
It helped that his baseball IQ was “pretty good” also, but
as I share with coaches all the time, the knowledge is important (tactics, strategies,
systems, rules), but the key to coaching is how you connect with your players
as people. That is what all of them are
going to remember well after all the games, wins or losses, celebration or
disappointment.
Why Alex Cora is such an amazing manager, is he accepted a
frugal 800K annual contract in MLB standards from the Red Sox compared to other
MLB manager’s salaries 5-6x that (5-6M) and his only negotiation point he
wanted added was that the Red Sox paid for a plane of supplies for 300 families
in his home town in Puerto Rico that was devastated by back to back Hurricanes
Irma and Maria.
For the Red Sox Organization, whose team payroll for the
players was over $220M this was a no brainer, and Alex took the team to his
home country and selflessly handed out supplies to those in need.
The message that was sent to the players, family is more
important than anything else.
This has always been my belief as a coach, family first, school second, sports third. A year back I shared an article on our facebook page where a cheerleading team coach deprived one of his girls on his squad the opportunity to go to her grandfather’s funeral as it was on the same day as one of their competitions that the parents shared after the fact was not fair.
Not fair? It was ridiculous. The fact the parents did not push back more and tell their daughter that she was going to the funeral in itself just showed the pressure that parents and kids are under in the current climate of winning of all costs where many have forgotten this core value that family ALWAYS comes first.
As Wally
Buono shared in recent weeks in his last season as coach, family kept him
grounded and one of the main reasons he was retiring was to spend more time
with his family, in particular his grand kids.
After the World Series Victory, Alex made another trip to
his home town in Puerto to share the experience with the infamous trophy in
hand, a reminder that even those from a very small country can achieve their
dreams and a beacon of hope for those that lost everything in the hurricane.
When players were asked how Alex did it, every single player
shared how Alex communicated the importance of the team being a family,
welcoming the new players as they were added thru the season to fill the
missing pieces.
Every single player that was interviewed said Alex was the
reason that they accomplished the victory, he believed in them, and one of the
players Eduardo Nunez who hit a 3 run home run in game 1 of the world series, said
Alex was the best manager who every managed him.
Why?
As he shared with A Rod (Retired Alex Rodriguez now analyst
with ESPN) it was because “he made me feel better than who I am”
Great coaches believe in their players, they develop
cultures on excellence on their teams and winning becomes the byproduct. They instill confidence, they trust they will
overcome mistakes, learn from them and move on.
Team chemistry – Love – Belief in self and team mates –
Caring – Passion, all the characteristics that thousands have shared with me
were that characteristics of the greatest coaches they had which Alex embodied
with the 2018 Boston Red Sox then added the magic sauce – Family First.
As many learned from Alex’s humble negotiations for his
contract getting the Red Sox to send him and players to his home town to hand
out supplies thru the course of the season and after the win, family for Alex
is what keeps him grounded when he leaves the park.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BXXV46Q-ieM&t=161s
Much like other amazing coaches, Alex’s core values of the
importance of family, it created the culture for him, coaches, players and all
others involved in the Red Sox Organization to win their 4th Word
Series since breaking the Bambino curse in 2004.
I suspect that Bambino was watching from above with a huge
smile on his face when they did so.
Reposted Nov 22, 2021
My wife forwarded me some links to videos for a meeting she was having with her national organization and one I thought was definitely worth highlighting in particular more than merely posting to FB/Twitter.
It was the Texas U 2014 Commencement address done by Admiral William H. McRaven, 36 Years as a Navy Seal, that has had close to 7 Million views on Youtube.
In his presentation, he shares 10 tidbits how we the graduating class of 2014 can change the world highlighting his experience as a Navy Seal and the training they have to go thru to become the top warriors in the World.
Their training lasts 6 months, including long tortuous runs in the soft sand, midnight swims, obstacle courses, unending calisthenics, days without sleep and always being cold, wet and miserable.
The training is intended to eliminate the weak of mind and body, but also to find those that can lead thru hardship and challenges.
Here are the 10 tips he shared;
Make your bed every morning (the little things matter)
Reinforcing the point that the little things matter, which every successful coach in the world emphasizes with their teams. Perfect example, John Wooden at
the beginning of every season would walk players thru how to tie their shoes, pull up their socks, wear their shorts, jerseys. All little things but like the Navy Seals, felt it was important so that the players could do the big things right.
Find someone to help you paddle
Every morning crews of 7 are required to paddle their boats, requiring equal effort, everyone must paddle for the boat to make it to its destination.
You can’t do it alone, takes friends, colleagues, goodwill of strangers.
One of mine and most coaches pet peeves is selfish players, probably the most infamous “rant” about how a player was not contributing a member of the team is former San Francisco 49’rs head coach Mike Singleterry’s “Can’t Do it” rant post game why he asked Vernon Davis to leave the game.
A year removed, Vernon and the 49’rs made it to the Superbowl under new Coach Jim Harbaugh and this is what Vernon shared about the lesson that he learned “Come on, you have all the tools in the world,”
Measure a person by the size of their heart (not their flippers)
He shares the analogy of the munchkin boat crew the smallest members of the aspiring seals, none over 5’ 5” but outpaddled, outran and outswam all the other boat crews even though they had the smallest flippers that all the much larger men would make fun of. It showed the importance of the willingness
to succeed.
Get over being a sugar cookie and keep moving forward
Several times a week the instructors would do uniform inspection and would find something wrong, when failed students had to run fully clothed into the surf zone, then roll in the sand which was dubbed sugar cookie. Many students did not understand the purpose that you were never going to have a
perfect uniform and they did not make it thru training.
Don’t be afraid of the circuses
Every day during training challenged with multiple physical events, every one had standards, if you failed to meet those standards, you were invited to the circus training of additional 2 hours of physical training.
No one wanted to be on the circus list, but ironically those that were on the list more often than not, developed resiliency, became stronger.
Sometimes you have to slide down the obstacles head first
He shares an analogy how a student decided to do down the slide for life (200’ rope between a 3 tiered and one tiered tower) on the obstacle course head first instead of upside down, dangerous move and instead of several minutes broke the longtime record that held before doing so.
Don’t back down from the sharks
Students have to do a series of long swims which includes an area of shark invested waters and encourage the students to summon up all your strength and punch them in the snout.
You must be your very best in the darkest moments
Another demanding task of seal training is a 2 mile underwater attack mission using nothing but a depth gauge and compass, during the swim there is some light but as approach the ship it blocks all ambient light and to be successful have to go to the centre keel that is pitch dark. This is the time where you must be calm, composed.
Start singing when you are up to your neck in mud
The 9th week of Seal Training is called Hell Week – 6 days of no sleep, constant physical and mental harassment and one special day at the mud flats, swampy patch where the mud engulfs you, nothing visible but their heads and instructors said could leave if 5 students quit even though had 8 hours left to go. Then one voice raised in song, sung with great enthusiasm, then one became two, two became three, and the singing persisted.
The singing raised the hope of all the students, the power of one person, King, Washington, Mandela has the ability to change the world by giving people hope.
Don’t EVER, EVER ring the bell
All you have to do to quit is ring the bell, never have to wake up at 5, no more cold swims, obstacle course, Physical Training or endure the hardships of training.
In order to get thru the demands of the Seal Training, it pushes every student to their absolute limits, physically, mentally and the vast majority that enter each training class do end up ringing that bell. In Williams class, it started with approximately 150 students and just in the first few weeks 2/3 of the students rang the bell where only 42 remained and completed the 6 months training to become the warriors they aspired to become.
The Navy Seals training program is the most challenging of any program in the world in terms of physical and mental preparation.
Of the 10 tips that William shared how the students of U of T in 2014 how they could change the world, the one that jumped out at me the most was #3, measure a person by the size of their heart (not their flippers) as a coach of many years, I always look for players that have character, heart, and commitment first and foremost regardless of their stature or current skill set.
Using the NHL as an example as we head into the 2018-19 season, each day I read the paper there has been highlight of various Vancouver Canucks prospects and emphasis on how all are bigger, faster, stronger than they were a year ago. The same holds true I suspect in every major paper in cities across Canada and the USA as teams go thru their respective training camps where many of the prospects are saying they are sore but they are only a few weeks long, followed by a series of exhibition games and daily practices vs. 6 months of Seal Training.
Rarely have I seen any references in all of the prospects in terms of the character, spirit, determination to not only get thru their rigors of training camps, ex games and to date no journalist has commented or the size of their heart.
Brendan Gallagher in his infamous spot – Source: The Score
A perfect example is Brendan Gallagher, all 5’7” of him who every year and each level he moved up coaches I know from all the evaluations
and scouting have done would say “he is too small”
But like the “munchkin crew” of the Navy Seals training class, he has proved all the naysayers wrong as he is entering his 7th season for the Habs, one of the alternate captains on a long term 5.5M cap hit deal as they continue to go thru their rebuild (don’t even get me started about my thoughts on the Max Pacioretty trade)
Who would have thought a 5’7” forward would go the front of the net with reckless abandon as Brendan does game in a game out?
Apparently, the majority of the coaches, scouts, GM’s in the league had their doubts as Brendan was no selected until the 5th round, 147th overall.
RARELY does any player drafted that late every get to see action in the NHL, majority become journeymen AHL or other semi-pro players never to be heard of.
All of those that overlooked the likes of Brendan in the NHL, Bantam drafts or Minor Hockey Rep Tryouts could learn a little something from the Navy Seals … as I have said every year during evaluations, it is not the size of the player, it is the size of their heart that matters.
That is something we as coaches can’t teach, they either
have it or they don’t as Brendan and many other smaller stature players have
proved to all the naysayers.
Below is the video of the Admirals full Commencement Speech.
I never do back to back posts on same subjects, but this
time was hard not to.
The reason, after I wrote about the new coach Nathan Ostyrick (who ironically started his Junior A hockey playing career for the South Surrey Eagles in an arena not far from us that I coached numerous teams in over the years) and Humboldt Bronco’s rebuild last week, I watched their first regular season game at home as well as all the pregame tribute prior and post-game (thankfully there were no commercials due to TSN sponsoring).
Not only was it the first home game of the “new” Humboldt Bronco’s
whose roster only had 2 returning players in the game who were named alternate
captains of the team, Derek Patter who optimistically told the crowd before the
game they were going to get a win and Brayden Camrud. All of the players that were not lost in the
accident and able to come to the came were there for the pre and post game
tributes other than two still recovering from brain injuries, Layne Matechuk
and Morgan Gorbeil.
Three Key things that I wanted to share about the tribute as
they head into their rebuild.
Considering they are from a small town with just over 6000 residents, they put on one of the classiest tributes I have EVER seen. Starting with the pregame interviews with TSN including former NHL’er Chris Joseph whose son Evan was lost in the tragedy sharing his insight as the game was only a few days before what would have been Evan’s 21st birthday to Scott Thomas, father of another player who was lost in the crash, Evan and his eloquent thank you speech to the responders, organizations, communities, contributors to the gofundme campaign and across the world for their support.
The 29 Banners that were unveiled showing pictures and short descriptions of each member of the team, starting with the 16 that perished and the remaining 13 that survived (albeit still a couple dealing with serious brain injuries). As each banner was unveiled, I I got weepy eyed when I looked at the birth dates of the players in particular, many of which still had not reached their 19th birthday, the official year of becoming adults.
The Third were the tributes to their former coach Darcy Haugan who died tragically in the crash. One where Darcy was awarded the first ever new NHL Willie O’Ree Community Hero Award. It was established to coincide with the Declaration of Principles that the NHL and 16 other global hockey organizations introduced last hockey season that I shared last September 2017 “Thank you Hockey”.
Below is the video where Willie introduces Darcy’s wife,
Christina, who received the award on his behalf
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RihyVnHWhJo
Christina also shares the Core Convenant of the Broncos team that he was so passionate of “as a tool of developing young lives.” It does not mention wins or losses as his purpose was to develop strong character and was one of core values in players he recruited.
As I learned several years back, our purpose as coaches is
not to make a living, but rather to make a difference developing youth into
adults and this is something that Darcy truly understood.
This is a picture of the Covenant that is in the players home dressing room.
Notice the words in CAPS ….
FAMILY – RESPECT – PASSION – INTEGRITY – GRATITUDE – BUILDING – BELIEVE – GIVE – GREATNESS
These are core values that every team and organization
should strive for.
His emphasis of one of the core values in the
core covenant BELIEVE, where he shared with them that “once they started
believing, they would turn around their season” and to reinforce believing in
themselves, he found a broken yellow kickplate in their own home arena and
wrote the word “BELIEVE” across it. He
then asked all the players to sign-it, as well as coaching staff, trainers
which became their team mantra for complete buy-in.
Below is a picture of one of the two players parents that is still in the hospital dealing with brain injuries, Shelley and Kevin Matechuk, parents of Layne Matechuk, holding the kickplate.
On several occasions during the tribute, analysts would talk about what he would share with the team on a regular basis “It’s a Great Day to be a Bronco Gentlemen” Unfortunately April 6th wasn’t, but Darcy always said family first, hockey second.
The last takeaway is the reference to Darcy shared by TSN but I am unsure of the source “The coach every player wanted and every coach wanted to be”
Without the support of all their families, both those of the ones that were victims of the tragedy and are no longer with us as well as the surviving players and the organization would not have started over as they did this Sept. 12, 2018. As they all found out, the hockey family is a global one that touched people from all sectors across the globe, not just those involved in hockey.
Darcy’s legacy is one that I suspect will pay forward thru
many of the players, members of the community and for aspiring or new coaches for
many years to come.
I believe his wife Christina said it best …. it must not stay in vegas (where the NHL awards ceremonies were held) …. the torch has been passed.
Earlier this year I wrote on Tuckman’s development model of small groups and I read a great article this weekend in the National Post talking about Humboldt’s Comeback and they continue going thru their grieving period with a new team and organization for this season.
Below is a video recap interviewing the new head coach Nathan Oystrick as he talks about the challenges he faces rebuilding the proud franchise after the tragic accident earlier this year that reached millions of people across the globe.
Nathan grew up in Saskatchewan, played junior hockey in Canada then was on a journeyman path playing college, then various professional stints in Europe and North America including 65 games in the NHL with the Atlanta Thrashers organization.
When management was queried what they were looking for in the new coach, they shared they wanted “someone that was going to care about their kids” which is the most important aspect of coaching.
At no point did they say they wanted a coach that ran certain power play systems, breakout and regroups or other tactics and systems that too many youth minor hockey coaches focus on.
In a whiteboard pregame talk in the video, Nathan tells the players to go out there and have fun and compete.
This coming Wednesday, Sept. 12th, the NEW Humbolt Bronco’s will be hitting the ice to play their first regular season game which will be broadcast live by both TSN and CTV Saskatchewan 5:30 PM, 6:30 PM Central Time, 8:30 PM EST.
The very fact that this game is going to happen in the first place just shows how resilient the members of the Humboldt community are they lost their head coach/general manager, assistant coach, radio analyst, driver, trainer and 11 players.
The remaining players on the bus were injured, some seriously, some were able to walk away with scrapes and bruises but the end result was Humbolt, Junior Hockey and Sports, in general, was tragically impacted that day, April 6th, 2018.
They have now completed the forming stage, the first stage of group development according to Tuckman’s work, the big unknown is how are they going to deal with the remaining stages?
The next stage, storming, I suspect will start this coming Wednesday when the team hits the ice, coaching staff, trainers and all the fans including families of those lost and injured in the crash, friends, colleagues, former players and numerous others. Although I suspect there will be a moment of silence, the world will be cheering for Humboldt as they continue to go thru their healing process.
Nathan gets teary-eyed in the interview when talking about what people are going to say, how are they going to react when the team takes the ice at home for their first regular season game?
I suspect there will be a lot of teary eyes in the stands and I for one plan to be streaming the game including pregame ceremonies to see how they go thru their storming stage so can get to some sense of normalcy (if there will be such a thing this season) so they can perform and compete as the season goes on.
I also believe I won’t be the only one that is watching Nathan and the team with great interest to see how they build on the proud legacy of #Humboldt Strong as the world found out not that long ago in April.
The gofund me campaign that reached over $1 Million dollars in what seemed like minutes and to date has raised over $15 Million, the press coverage they received including images from supporters worldwide including their pic that was tweeted (and subsequently retweeted by thousands) of the child from Uganda with stick by the door who received funding from Humboldt as one of their designated charities prior to the charity.
This is why Humboldt’s tragedy, their rebuild as an organization will be followed with great interest as they continue to go thru the group development stages.
I for one can hardly wait for them to get to the performing stage and be a contender and compete in playoffs as new head coach Nathan aspires them to.
Until then, we all must be patient and recognize that it may be a season or more before that happens.
Until then, I plan to just Love Watching them play, as I did all of the teams I have coached to date as recommend parents of young boys and girls do the same.
