Win with Humility, lose with dignity

Posted Posted in Athlete, Coach, Parents

Happy New Year Everyone, hard to believe that 2020 is now behind us and hopefully will see a better normal in 2021.

Like many, I shut down our office Dec 18th and returned back on Monday Jan 4th and as I reconnected with many of my Canadian counterparts in particular when I asked how their holiday break was the answers were literally all the same …”had a opportunity to spend quality time with immediate family due to limits on social gathering, got lots of rest, watched many of the World Junior Games, read some books”

Same for yours truly, this fall proved to be the business Oct-Mid December timeframe I have had in years a result of various summits, coach clinics, webinars I hosted and when Dec 18th rolled around was really looking forward to doing the same.

As I watched Team Canada on their run starting with their first warmup game on Dec 23rd and sadly lost their team captain, Kirby Dach early in the game to a broken wrist (I knew right away when I watched him head off the ice as have dealt with several players over the years that did the same) I thought to myself what a crappy way to start.

Hockey Canada CEO Tom Renney left the bubble to take Kirby to the hospital and was forced to quarantine in his room for another 5 days as a result but said when interviewed later in the tournament that it was the right thing to do, Kirby’s family could not be with him due to safety protocols and Kudos to Tom for doing so.

 

As the team entered the round robin and won games by significant margins (highest being against Germany 16-2) what impressed me the most is how they won the games with humility.

Unfortunately one of the tournament tie breakers is goals differential and when teams enter the cross over round goals for and against may impact their placement, but one of the rules that the IIHF implemented to limit blowouts was enforcing running time like they do in minor hockey tournaments.

When I watched the last game with my family much like many other Canadian families did on Tuesday I wore the same Hockey Canada Hoodie that I had since the first warm-up game and after the second goal was scored by Team USA early in the second period I went and got my Hockey Canada Hat and reversed as a rally cap as had done for years playing baseball/softball/slo-pitch but Spencer Knight and the rest of the USA team just did not give Canada much by keeping them outside the dots (limited high % scoring chances) other than a handful vs. what had been the case against other teams they faced.

When Bowen Byram, alternating Captain for the game required for IIHF rules (although Kirby remained captain on the team even though injured) was handing out medals to his teammates I could see the raw of emotion and disappointment that he had and brought back vivid memories for me for many of the teams I coached over the years when I was doing the same, handing out either the bronze or silver medals to my players after a tough loss.

What I would tell all of them before we hit the ice or the field for that last game of a tournament was three things much like coaches I had did growing up;

  1. You worked hard to get to this game and all anyone can ask of you is for you to leave everything you have on the ice or the field and when the game is over whatever the outcome you can hold your head high

 

  1. Make sure that you win with humility or lose with dignity, after the game no one should know whether you won or lost, there is nothing worse than when teams rub salt in a wound with excessive celebrations when they win or poor sportsmanship when they lose

 

AND

 

  1. Most importantly, go out there, don’t worry if you make a mistake as your team mates will have your back and you will have our support as coaches and have FUN, getting to the final game in tournaments does happen often, relish the moment.

 

These three messages were shared with me over and over as I played numerous competitive sports and helped me overcome the adversity of tough losses like Canada’s young men experienced this year as well as taught me the importance of humility when we did win gold medals, banners, tournaments etc.

It also served me well for post-game talks as a coach, whether we pulled off the win or had a tough loss, to share how proud I was and reinforce how proud the players parents were of their kids for their amazing runs whether it be at a tournament or the end of a season, provincials etc.

Probably the best post game talk I have ever seen is one I wish I had seen early on in my coaching career, when David Belisle talked to the little league world series team he coached after being knocked out of the tournament I have shared in talks for both parents and coaches.

 

 

Whatever sport you are coaching, whether it be individual or a team sport, please ensure that you teach your players the same valuable lessons, as it is our responsibility as coaches not to make a living, but rather make a difference by developing youth into adults.

Kudos to Team Canada for their amazing run this year dealing with all of the adversity from losing the team captain out of the gate, challenges of the bubble, quarantine, being apart from their families with no fans in the stands and making all of us in Canada proud.

I am already looking forward to watching the next world juniors which also will be held in Edmonton/Red Deer in December but this time the fans, including the amazing supportive parents, should be in the stands to cheer on their sons as they chase their dreams wearing their countries national jerseys.

 

Don`t be a kids last coach

It’s All About The Kids

Posted Posted in Athlete, Coach, Organization Executive, Parents

I have had a crazy couple of months interacting with numerous grassroots hockey coaches in clinics and workshops and have had some great interactions with some really amazing people who have either put their hands up to coach or are looking for more development in workshops.

As the requirements for coaching certification have increased over the years, so has the number of coaches that complain about the amount of time that it takes to become certified, on average I have 2-3 coaches per clinic that will complain, but the past couple of weekends there were two coaches, in particular, that did so literally from the beginning to the end of the clinic.

This past weekend one was a coach that was now entering the competitive stream (rep hockey) which entails a 2 day (16 hour clinic) to become certified in addition to all the other requirements coaches of all levels have to do including concussion / return to play protocols, respect in sport, criminal record checks and interviews by board members.

Ironically, in the very same clinic I had 4 coaches from Washington State who are required to complete both the Hockey Canada certification AND USA Hockey’s and as a result of the work that USA Hockey has done with their coaching certification programs, when I ask coaches if they are familiar with terms like LTAD/LTPD/ADM, Physical Literacy, Fundamental Skills only those from the USA put their hands up.

I asked one of them to provide insight what they needed to do for USA Hockey in addition to what we were doing to remind the coach who was complaining that it was a requirement for all levels of coaching so that you could help your kids become the best they could be.

Two weeks back I had another coach do the same who had previously stepped up to be a manager of many teams but as their association was short of coaches (like many are) he put his hand up to be an assistant coach and on both the Saturday and Sunday came to me complaining about all the work he had to do to merely open the gate during games and “chase pucks” (set up drills) during practices.

My answer to that coach was he was not merely opening the gate during games, he probably had one of the most important roles as a coach in today’s winning at all costs era, he controlled all the players playing time as he opened and closed that gate during line changes.  Fair playing time is one of the top 3 issues that parents and players have in organized sports, so for that reason alone coaches need to complete the certification.

 

We also cover other important modules like communication, team meetings, LTPD (Long Term Player Development), Incorporating technology in their practices, skill analysis, skill development, drill and practice design.

A few years back Hockey Canada added practice evaluations as a requirement of certification for the competitive stream coaches (rep hockey U13 age group or later) so that more tenured coaches can come out and observe a new coach run a practice and provide tips how they can improve going forward.

The reasoning behind the practice evals is so that we can ensure that new coaches recognize the importance not only of planning practices, but all the key requirements to ensure that it is effective in teaching kids.

Having coached now for over 25 years, majority of that time various youth sports, time after time when I have observed new coaches running practices they miss out on some key requirements to ensure that each practice offers key teaching moments

The three that evaluators look for to ensure coaches are doing from the onset

  1. Are the providing the WHY of the drills in terms of how the skills they are teaching relate to game play
  2. Are the able to breakdown the various skills to the fundamental techniques and most importantly
  3. Do they correct errors when the players are not doing the skill correctly?

It is this last point that newer coaches omit time after time and in many instances will get frustrated with players as they not executing the drills the way they were drawn up.

There are many reasons why this is the case, but as I tell all coaches, encouraging kids to make mistakes in practices will only translate to more confidence, competence in games and better yet, creativity.

Too often coaches will focus too much on structure in practices and not allow time for unstructured free play where kids have the opportunity to be creative so it will translate to game play.

The last part of running effective practices and becoming a great coach is the importance of connecting with all your players as individuals, getting to know them as people.

As Jerry York shared in his recent Hockey Hall of Fame Induction Speech

 

When James Duthie was introducing him before he received his plaque he stated that Jerry’s style of coaching involved patience, being positive and being a great teacher”

Jerry is now the most winningest NCAA Div 1 coach of all time and tied for most national championships and has developed more players at Boston College that went on to the NHL than any other collegiate program.

I shared that quote and analogy last week in our newsletter and have hence shared it several workshops/weekend clinic ran this past weekend.

Jerry, like all of the great coaches over the years, works tirelessly putting in hundreds, if not thousands of hours coaching to not only help their teams but to develop their players into better people.

This is the reminder that I also shared with both recent coaches that challenged me about the time commitment that is required to become certified to become with, but to be a coach ultimately for years to come.

It is all about the kids, and as I remind all of them play playing sports is a privilege, not a right, so is coaching.

Yes, it can be a big-time commitment and at times may be a thankless gig, maybe you get a Starbucks or Tim Horton’s gift prepaid card, better yet a personalized card with same from a player but the best reward you can receive as a coach is when that player comes to you at the end of the season or years down the road and says THANKS COACH.

Then all those hours that you commit up front to get certified and during the seasons make you realize the main reason we have to do so.

It’s all about the kids.

As coaches, it is not about making a living, particularly as majority of coaches in all sports are volunteers.

Our purpose, as those who may be frustrated with the time commitments up front in clinics all the time including the two I referred to at the beginning of this post  may not realize when they first start out, is our purpose as coaches is to make a difference developing youth into adults.

When you are given that opportunity to be a coach and make that difference, yes the certification requirements and time to do so can be a lot but please remember what it is all about.

It’s all about the kids.

Just as I remind players all the time that playing a youth sport is a privilege, not a right as many kids can’t afford to play, so is coaching.

It truly is a privilege to be a coach and as the years go by, and kids share with you how happy they are to be able to do a skill they are working on, did well on tests at school, made friends on their teams, learned values like respect, sportsmanship, communication or leadership skills and so on the time we invest as coaches is worth it.

Even more so when you see how the players you started coaching at 5 years old develop into great young men and women.

Better yet when they see you years later and they still call you Coach.

 

PS Tagline - Dont be a kids last coach

 

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When the NHL dream comes to fruition

Posted Posted in Athlete, Coach, Early Sport Specialization, Organization Executive, Parents

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Having been a fan of the NHL since I literally came out of the womb, and for the First 3rd of my life growing up in various suburbs of Montreal, QC and every other city thereafter having a hockey rink it became a dream of mine like any other kid growing up to be like my idol and play in the NHL.

We dreamt of scoring that game-winning goal in double OT to hoist the Cup or making the save to keep the game or series alive, making that blocked shot to prevent the game winning goal, making that pass to set it up, making that big hit to get momentum and the list goes on.

Most of those dreams as was shared in the recent NHL draft that I was fortunate to receive a last minute ticket to attend for the first time, when player videos were played on Rogers Arena big screen of the time the kids being drafted in the first round spent on their backyard rinks, outdoor rinks, ponds or mini- stick competitions in their basements as I did as a kid.

In the case of this year’s NHL draft, another of the Hughes brothers was drafted in the first round to follow his older brother Quinn who was selected as the 7th overall pick in the first round by our home city Vancouver Canucks.

This time, it was Jack, who was pegged for most of this season to be picked 1st overall and the New Jersey Devils, announced by one of the greatest goalies of all time and hall of famer Martin Brodeur.

 

Back to back years where brothers and parents hugged in the stands where all the players sat with their families waiting for their names to be called by one of the 31 teams with all of their senior management, coaches and other personnel amassed on the floor of Rogers Arena

 

Although two of the three Hughes brothers drafted in to the NHL thus far (the next projected to come to the NHL is Luke), participated in the US NTDP, until that point they experienced playing on outdoor rinks (the epitome of free play) and their organized minor hockey in Toronto, Canada as their dad worked with the Leaf’s and other Hockey organizations.

The very same coaches that I have worked with facilitating Hockey Canada NCCP Clinics for BC Hockey but their Ontario counterparts are the ones that were instrumental in developing Quinn’s and Jacks passion for the game and initial development of their core skills.

Like the other Canadian players who were drafted, Quinn and Jack had very similar experience playing mini stick, on outdoor rinks or ponds, minor hockey in the GTHL then their junior path was US NTDP vs. Junior A or Major Junior

Listen to the podcast below to get more insight from the US NTDP U18 head coach who shares insight on the various players before they were selected in this year’s draft (including Montreal’s pick Cole Caulfield who they stole at 15)

 

The second pick by the New York Rangers, as suspected, was for Kappo Kakko, the Finnish phenom who played on the Finnish U18, World Junior and World Championship Gold Medal teams this past season.

 

Similar to 2016 when Auston Matthews (USA) was the #1 pick by Toronto, then Patrick Laine (Finland) the 2nd overall pick by the New York Rangers so game on, as both teams are in the same division, we will see these two young players playing each other for years to come.

What was different about this draft, however, was the number of other US born players that were selected in the first round, 8 from National Development Team (7 in the first 15 picks), three others were born in the USA that was also chosen the first round, 5 others in additional rounds for a total of 13 (62% of the players from the NTDP U18 team)

Compare that to Canadian players, #3 – Kirby Dach – WHL, #4 – Bowen Byram (WHL) and 11 others for a total of 13

Others chosen not from the NTDP or Canadian (the exception being Thomas Harly with dual citizenship

1 other from the USA – USHL

1 – Dual Citizenship (Canada/USA)

2 more from Finland

4 from Sweden

1 from Russia – think back in the 60-70-80’s when the Red Army Dominated Internationally

1 from Germany

When I talked to Ken Martel for our online summer event, he shared that this year’s U18 US NDTP was a special group of players and they did anticipate several to be drafted in the first round, I think he and rest of USA hockey staff are sitting back and doing the same thing I did…. especially once all rounds completed, 17 were drafted.

WOW with a sense of pride like many of the parents who did the same when their son’s names were called.

 

 

So what makes the US National Team Development Program unique and lead to so many players being drafted in the first round from ONE team?

#1 – With the exception of Jack who played all his minor hockey in Canada, this year’s group are all players that went thru the US American Development Model (ADM) which adheres to age-appropriate training, small area games, and cross-ice hockey for the earlier age groups (from 5-8 years of age), endorsing multi-sport participation and FUN.

The ADM was implemented by USA Hockey in 2009 when all of the players from this year’s draft class would have been 7 years old.

#2 – Coaching certification – they all benefited from coaching certification programs in either Canada or the USA.

All of Quinn’s and Jacks Minor Hockey Coaches would have been certified thru the NCCP Hockey Canada program and all the other US players benefited from one of the top coaching certification programs in the USA to coincide with the roll-out of their ADM model in 2009.  The majority of other sports in the USA have less developed or no coaching certification programs at all as they don’t have a centralized coaching certification program as we do in Canada.

#3 – Unlike all the Canadian and International players that come to Canada to play in major junior or Junior leagues playing on multiple teams, the U18 and U16 US NDTP are national teams that train and play in all tournaments and stay together as a group annually so they develop chemistry, competitive spirit vs. Canada’s “all-star” teams that are formed a few weeks prior to participating in international events.

Did Quinn and Jack get the best of both worlds then?  Playing minor hockey in Canada than being selected to the US National Development program where they moved to Plymouth, billeted, went to school and trained with their teams?

The closest equivalent in Canada would be the explosion of academies where kids play on U15, U16 or U18 teams, go to schools together, the billet in same neighborhoods etc.

In BC/Alberta alone, there are 14 academies as members of the CSSHL (Canadian School Sport Hockey League) now with bantam prep, bantam varsity, U16, U18 boys and now girls teams with an annual bill to parents anywhere from $15-40K

 

A few other things jumped out for me when I was watching the draft in person that you don’t get a true feel for when watching on TV;

# 1 – When each player was interviewed and aired on the big screen to fill the 3 minute time limit that teams have to make their pick, literally EVERY player said that the experience was surreal, it had not sunk in yet, that their dream of playing in the NHL was getting closer and many shared that they wanted to make an impact and help their teams.

Translation – they are Gen Z, and regardless if it is sport, business, school, having mentored many students over the years who work with us as interns, literally every one answers the question, where do you see yourself in 5 Years?

Answer – I want to make a difference and contribute.

 

#2 – In those interviews, they also would thank their parents, friends, coaches and others who helped them get to this special moment that showed how much it takes a village to raise a child.

At about the ½ way point of the draft (after the Habs picked), I went to get a snack and while walking in the concourse came across a group of those from the village, several Alex Newhook’s (Colorado) friends who flew in from his home town in St. Johns Newfoundland, wearing his various jerseys were screaming at the top of their lungs in celebration.

Another was a group of Moncton WHL Wildcats teammates sitting adjacent to us who also traveled across the country from Moncton, Nova Scotia who jumped from their seats when their fellow teammate Jakob Pelletiers named was called and drafted to Calgary.

Many of the other players shared how many friends and family were there and what the whole experience reminded me of was high school graduation, as each player went up to receive his jersey ( graduation certificate), family and friends sitting in the stands would celebrate.

It was similar to when I attended both of my kids (now adults) high school and university graduation ceremonies and all I could think about was how proud I was of both of them, similar to that of all the parents would be of these potential prospect NHL players.

For a fleeting moment I thought to myself it would have been great to have been one of those parents to have seen all of my sons hard work pay off over the years to be drafted to either the WHL or the NHL, but then I reminded myself he learned a ton, had fun (for the most part) and he is now playing adult rec (AKA beer league) and loving the game more than he did in the crazy days (when winning at costs prevailed for all kids to contribute but that is another story in itself).

The other thing I thought about was all those players I coached (hundreds over the years), only a handful have gone on to play junior, one is finishing his tenure playing major junior whom I thought potentially would be drafted to the NHL and would have been great to see him go up on that stage with others but it was a reality check just how hard it is to make it just to the NHL draft, let alone play.

Then as the draft finished up we walked to a local restaurant to have dinner and truly appreciated the moment when Alex Newhook and his family and friends walked up the restaurant we were at on the outside deck, we all stood up to give him a standing ovation and then quieted down when he approached the hostess and asked if it would be possible to get a table.

Two of the tables on the deck as did we stood up (we were heading out) offered ours so a teenager could celebrate such a special moment with his family as I did with my kids when they hit such special milestones.

I then headed to my car, my cohort headed to his hotel as was attending day 2 of the draft the next day.

Although such a small % of kids that play hockey will reach this milestone, and even if drafted, may or may not even play or have long careers in the NHL my friend shared with the reason why he loves going to the drafts is that is the time we as coaches can see when kids realize their dreams they had as toddlers, as Jack Hughes did and all those other first overall picks before him.

I am looking forward to seeing how the careers of this year’s draft class evolves.

I can then look back when they make team rosters and do all the others things that we dreamed about as kids and say to myself like all the other members of their villages and say to myself, WOW I was there when they got drafted and saw their dream come to fruition.

Don`t be a kids last coach

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Why running short benches is NOT a good thing

Posted Leave a commentPosted in Athlete, Coach, Organization Executive, Parents

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Last night I had dinner with my wife’s siblings as my sister in law was in town for a conference.

During dinner, my sister in law shared with me that my 12-year-old nephew had quit Hockey.

WHAT?  My nephew quit a sport he once loved and when I asked her why her response was “he quit because a lot of teammates were not getting play when it was their turn as the coach was focusing on winning games”

He was playing peewee recreational team and was one of the stronger players because two years ago when he aspired to play rep (competitive level) they were advised by several parents that the only way he would make one of the rep teams (the association had 3 rep teams for peewee age group at the time) is if they signed a contract that was the only sport he was going to play.

Again, WHAT?

He opted to keep playing rec (house) so could continue to play soccer, ski, and other activities.

My head was spinning,

  1. He was playing rec (house) and coaches are not permitted to run short benches.
  2. He would have to sign a contract to play only hockey when he loved many other sports?

She further shared that parents they have talked to in the community have said their kids also quit hockey for the same reasons and the associations overall membership has dropped by a few hundred kids the last few years as a result.

This is a MINOR hockey association who have recreational coaches focusing on winning at all costs and not promoting multi-sport participation which are two of the major issues that is leading to kids quitting.

This just a couple of days after I shared an article on our social media pages called “Why ‘Shortening the Bench’ in competitive youth sports” can be a good thing written by Jamie Strashin for CBC Sports.

 

Soon after I posted, I received comments from parents in Canada and Australia who shared the same belief as I, that it was so short-sighted, although kids may win a game, perhaps get more games as a result, kids just want to play and in the instance of my nephew he quit because he did not think it fair for his teammates to sit on the bench when it was their turn to play.

Why did they sit?  Not because they were tired or were being disciplined, but an adult pulled them back to one their “more skilled” teammates out in their place.

I have been against short benches since I started coaching youth sports and still am, regardless if it is competitive or recreational levels.  The very fact that my nephew quit because his teammates were being deprived of ice time shows that he GETS IT even at 12 years old and I will applaud him for doing so when I see him next.

Ironically when I was up in Whitehorse running clinics this past season, I had one of the coaches come to me and expressed the very same concerns, her son was one of the top players on his atom “development” team and was getting much more ice time than his teammates, at times he was being told by coaches to stay out for 2-3-4 minutes at time.

Like the 10 year old player reference in the CBC article, her son was also 10, but in lieu of being held back for another player to take his turn, in his case stay out for shifts much longer than should have had.

Just two more examples of the adultification of youth sports.

Here is my take on running short benches;

#1 – Coaches choose the players for their teams, whether it be competitive or recreation

If you PICK THEM – you play them.

The coach that was quoted in the CBC article, whom is a non-parent coach, “I chose them to be on the team because I thought they were good enough.  If they aren’t in a position to succeed, it’s my fault”

I could not agree more, it the coaches responsibility to develop ALL players on the team and they focus on doing so early in the season, as the season evolves and all players improve, collectively the team improves and ‘Voila’ Winning is a byproduct not the focus.

#2 – I believe that coaches that run short benches either (a) don’t have the training needed to develop the skills of all players or (b) think that winning at all costs is more important than giving all players an opportunity to contribute in all situations

90% of kids would rather play on a losing team than sit on the bench for a winning team

#3 – All parents pay the same fees, so all players PLAY. There are already lawsuits in the USA coming forth from parents due to the thousands of dollars they are paying for their kids to play to be reimbursed for their prorated fees and have others pay more for their kids that PLAY more.

#4 – Having surveyed hundreds of kids on my teams over the years what is not fun about youth sports, one of the top 3 answers I have received is “when coaches play their favorites” especially when it comes to crunch time in close games where associations have implemented fair ice policies to permit coaches to use their discretion to win games. Again, kids just want to have their opportunities to contribute to the outcomes of the games just like all their other teammates.

‘YOU WIN OR LOSE AS A TEAM’

There are so many examples I can cite, not just from Hockey, but others sports now as we continue to partner with various sports groups but the one that comes to mind for me over and over was a player whom I invited to play with our 3 on 3 hockey teams who was a great kid with great parents.

In our last season when all the boys were aging out of minor hockey (17 years old), we opted to play both small ice and full ice 3 on 3 and in our first couple of games of each, he would go out for a few shifts and I noticed he was gasping for air.

In the second game I walked up to him and said T, you ok?

To which he said with a big smile on his face, yep, just need to get back into game shape.

I then asked … “but you played on the Midget A2 this year (where they would have had 2 practices, 2 games, a dryland per week) so don’t understand why not in game shape”?

He replied “because I quit with 10 games left in the season because I was only getting a handful of shifts per game.  The coaches was playing his favorites most of the games including power play, penalty kill, pissed me off as I just wanted to play so I quit”.

“My dad complained to the executive but they did not do anything, argued that it was rep hockey and only house had fair ice policies (where coaches are not permitted to run short benches).”

I shook my head in disbelief, just as I do every time I think of it.

#5 – In this particular article, 10-year-old players were the focus, which it he Atom age group, and regardless if they are playing recreationally or rep it is still a development age group

All kids, regardless of level, are to play and if a coach in BC had ran short bench in Atom he would have been suspended for doing so.

The main reason why coaches should not run short benches is the message you send to the kids, their parents …. Sorry kid, you are just not good enough be out there in key situations or give us a chance to score.

I believe this is one of the contributors why parents act up in the stands, if they come to game after game as I have and many other parents I know and watch their son or daughter sit on a bench when it is their turn to play knowing we all paid the same for them to do so, is no wonder why parents get emotional, angry as is evident daily in print, TV and social media.

Don’t get me started on the coaches that think they get a get out of jail free card for peewee and above, they should still be rolling all their lines all the way through minor hockey, when they are no longer playing to play, then they can earn their ice time (i.e. Major Junior and above)

The ONLY exception where you would tell kids to sit on the bench depriving them of playing time (or any minor sport for that reason) is if you have to discipline your players.

As the same coach in the article referenced, if they are not listening, screwing around may have to sit them a few shifts.

Other reasons, if they take a bad penalty or don’t get a penalty called on them for things like slashing, cross checking, knee on knees, head contact, hitting from behind, poor sportsmanship, using foul language, criticizing their team mates or not respecting their coaches, fellow or opposing players/coaches or officials including the scorekeeper/time keeper.

The very reason why short benches have become so common and we are turning a blind eye towards same is the shift in youth sports to win at all costs in lieu of just letting kids play kids for the love of the game.

Look at the past decade when teams go deep into the Stanley Cup Playoffs, when players or coaches are interviewed after games, including when they put the hardest trophy in sport to win above their head they say “all 4 lines contributed, we had a lot of confidence and we HAD FUN.

Hmmm .. aren’t these the best players in the WORLD?  Making Millions of Dollars a year even in the salary cap era?

Here is a great presentation from one of our For the Love of the Game Virtual Event guest speakers, VJ Stanley, that he did for a USA Hockey Level 4 coaches (equivalent to HP 1 level Coaches in Canada) and early in his presentation shares insight why coaches should PLAY all their kids in minor in hockey. About 7 minutes in to the presentation shows a vide when he talked to Ryan Callaha when he was captain of the New York Rangers.

 

Any coach can run short benches and play their “favorites” to win games.

GREAT coaches develop all their players and provide them the opportunity to contribute to the outcome of games and in doing so build their confidence and competence and winning becomes a byproduct as a result.

 

Don`t be a kids last coach

 

 

 

 

When is the culture of youth sports going to change for the better?

Posted 1 CommentPosted in Athlete, Coach, Organization Executive, Parents

 

In the last few weeks, there has been a lot of press that has had me shaking my head in utter disbelief regarding the current culture of youth sports. The very fact that harassment has come to light to this extent makes me ask the question over and over again, when will the culture of youth sports change for the better?

What should be a positive, amazing experience for today’s youth to not only learn the skills of the game, but the skills of life as it was when I grew up, has evolved to a culture of winning at all costs, a multi-billion industry where only the haves can afford to pay to play and yet no accountability for protection of the very same youth to have a safe to fail experience or safe from any forms of all harassment.

The first part of this post will highlight the issues regarding current youth sports culture, the second 1/2 will provide recommendations on what we can do to change the culture for the better.

THE ISSUES

A few of the incidents that made the headlines since the fall include;

St. Michaels College Sex assault scandal

Cost of Coaching Abuse – The Province

Hockey Players part of alleged bullying, assault at North Shore Winter Club

13 Year Old Pens resignation Letter from Abbotsford Hockey Team, alleging bullying

The latter three happened in Minor Hockey Associations in the lower mainland of Vancouver so it was very close to home and had my head spinning as a result.

This is my take on the ones that happened in the lower mainland;

  1. COACHING ABUSE:

Coaches are required to take a number of courses to ensure that they DO NO HARM, no different than that of teachers, social workers or other adults that work with those in the vulnerable sector.  Most organizations now require all those that would be interacting with kids to do criminal record checks (CRC), respect in sport (for coaches or parents), concussion awareness, NCCP clinics that include making ethical decisions for the competitive stream.

Although I believe that CRC’s are needed and have had no issues when requested to do, there are few issues with them we still need to work out;

  1. Only if the coach had actually been prosecuted of assault will it show up even if there were legal proceedings pending (takes years for cases to get thru the system).
  2. It can be a lengthy process and many organizations have trouble enforcing as a result.
  3. I have also heard several coaches (which includes myself) asking for better ways to manage if you are involved in various roles with the vulnerable sector to do ONE CRC per year, one year I had to do four with overlapping sports and charities I was involved with.

Even with all of the certification requirements including CRC’s now mandatory for all hockey associations, the very fact that a young man could not cope with the abuse from a coach he had sustained while playing hockey that led to mental health issues, alcohol/drug abuse, dropping out of school when he had been a straight-A student and attempted suicide made me cringe.  In lieu of developing life skills that include resiliency, this coach crossed the line with abusive old school coaching tactics and pushed this player beyond the tipping point regardless if he and the minor hockey association he still coaches for argued there was no cause and effect.  Even the players Dad admitted regrets he should have done something at the time when his son was being berated over and over again by the coach.

What really was a tipping point for me is that the model for competitive hockey in the lower mainland had shifted in recent years, and many (not all) of the larger organizations are offering stipends from 1.5K to 10K to “recruit” non-parent head “quality” head coaches for their competitive rep teams.  In this instance, the coach in question would have been one of those “paid” (aka professional) quality coaches, many of which are very young, inexperienced who were motivated to coach by the honorariums offered.

It takes YEARS of development and lifetime learning to become a great coach, plus it has increased team budgets so parents are on the hook for same, adding to the costs to the most expensive team sport in Canada for what should be a cost-effective option for players to play at a high level vs. the major midget/academy model that has evolved the last 10 years.

Had I been a parent of player on that team, or that of the player in question, as coaches are now paid by parents on the team (not by the associations directly), I would have been calling for the coaches immediate termination for the way he was treating players as the coach is under contract to DO NO HARM.

  1.  NEVER CRITICIZE YOUR TEAMMATES (RESPECT)

The fact that players in three of the above incidents are harassed their very own teammates in my day was totally unacceptable and is the way I have coached every team as a result.  John Wooden, arguably the greatest coach of all time, had 3 rules, one Never criticizing your teammates – translation, respect your teammates, coaches, officials, other teams, classmates, teachers, parents, elders etc.

This is a direct reflection of the lack of respect now prevalent in youth sports in its current culture that some coaches are not enforcing the value of respect on their teams, worse yet the organizations or sports as a whole they are involved with.

Kudos to the young man of the Abbotsford Minor Hockey Team for taking the brave stance by standing up against the current culture and resigning from his team due to the harassment he received from a few of his teammates. This should have lead to an apology from the association, coaches but over a week later after it was released the association has merely issued a statement that they take harassment seriously and no communication to the parent or player.

  1. DO NO HARM – 2 DEEP RULE

Since the article was posted in the Province outlining the abuse players took at North Shore Winter Club, the head coach has received praise for stepping down due to the decision of the executive after review reinstating the offenders on his team in lieu of suspensions he and his assistant (now head coach) for the remainder of the season, there was a MAJOR error in omission in the article.

For as long as I can remember there has been a 2 Deep Rule in Hockey, evolving as a result of Graham James abuse of Sheldon Kennedy and Theo Fleury and other major junior players under his watch.

The rule means that there must be 2 adults in the dressing room at all times to ensure players are safe, there was no mention if the head and assistant coaches or any other adults were present in the dressing room when the incident occurred.  This has been one of the main issues that I have seen with the “paid” non-parent competitive stream model, as they have no kids to bring to or after games, many will arrive well after the requested time to arrive at practices or games and leave soon after their post-game or practice debriefs leaving the dressing rooms abandoned

Had they enforced the 2 Deep rule, this NEVER would have happened in the first place.

In recent 3 part series released by CBC on sexual abuse that has taken place in youth sports, , the sport with the highest number of charges and convictions, twice that of the second amateur sport with high enrollment in Canada, Soccer (now the #1 youth sport in terms of registrants), was Hockey (approximately 50K less registrants than Soccer).

 

 

Ironically, my favorite sport as both a player and coach, Rugby, has had only one charge and conviction of sexual assault the last 20 years which one of the writers of the series attributed to the number of charges and convictions were proportional to the level of enrollment in particular sports.

Having played and coached many sports, I would argue the contrary, it is due to the current culture of many sports, the one with the highest number of charges in convictions is Hockey, which is now the second largest team sport in Canada in terms of registrations (Soccer is number 1 by approx 50,000 registrants).  The sport that I loved the most as a player and coach was Rugby, where officials are still called sir and although it is a hooligans game, it is played by gentlemen (and now ladies thanks to growth of female teams)  whose registrations have grown significantly due to success of our 7’s teams but only have one charge and conviction the last 20 years.

I naively thought when Graham James incident came to the forefront it would have credited the awareness and shift in culture necessary to ensure did not happen again but sadly the last decade has seen other incidents across the globe come to light including;

2012 – Penn State Football – Jerry Sandusky

2016 – English Football – 839 alleged victims of 294 suspects

2017 – USA Gymnastics – over 350 girls abused by Larry Nasar

2018 – Canadian Gymnastics – Dave Brubaker

2018 – USA Swimming – Sean Hutchinson Cover Up

2018 – Canadian Alpine Skiing – Bertrand Charest

2019 – South Korea skating

2019 – Multiple Canadian Sports since 1998 – over 600 victims and 222 convictions

In the CBC 3 part series, Sandra Kirby, former Olympic Rower, and Professor Emerita at the University of Winnipeg was cited as sexual abuse is an underreported crime (as is many other forms of harassment), “this is just the tip of the iceberg” there could be thousands of cases where no one has come forward.

As far as I am concerned, ONE is too many, the current culture of youth sports MUST change for the better to ensure that no other child is a victim of any form of harassment.

  1. CURRENT SYSTEM: INTERNAL REPORTING AND REVIEWS

The very fact that abuse of any kind continues to run rampant across all sports is due to the fact that the majority of sports organizations have internal reporting mechanisms that lack anonymity for the victims of harassment and internal review boards more often than not will try to save face (cover it up) vs. doing the right thing (being accountable and owning up for the incident and implementing the necessary steps to ensure it never happens again). Perfect example, USA Gymnastics, even after the scandal came to light, the leadership group was still trying to cover up evidence and as a result the US Olympic Committee is in the process of removing their sanctions as a National Governing body.

The reviews at local organizations (if they take place) are done by board members (the majority of which have kids in the same organization) that are untrained volunteers with limited expertise (if ANY) in the subject matter.

  1. NO BOARD/COACH/PARENT OR PLAYER EDUCATION REGARDING SEXUAL ABUSE

 There is currently not a universal system in place to educate the stakeholders on how to identify and prevent sexual abuse so that we can protect children BEFORE it happens.

Board members are left on their own accord to implement policies, procedures and continue building on so that all stakeholders understand the process.

 

SO … HOW DO WE ENSURE THAT WE DO CHANGE YOUTH SPORTS FOR THE BETTER?

 

  1. FINALLY – AN ACKNOWLEDGEMENT WE HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THE CULTURE OF AMATEUR SPORTS

Thanks to recent press bringing the issue of harassment to light on so many fronts and mediums (print, digital, radio, TV and podcasts) and subsequent response by the highest levels involved in sports acknowledging WE do have a problem, we can now check this box off (although I and many of my colleagues in the space have been saying the same for YEARS) and the time for much-needed activation of systematic change of the current culture is the next step.

Joint Statement issued by the COC/CPC in response to the CBC 3 Part Series on Sexual Abuse in Amateur Sports

  1. IMPROVE COACHING EDUCATION/ENFORCE THE 2 DEEP RULE:

One of the biggest challenges I run up against is organizations feel that the initial certification coaches get is sufficient, which may varies by sport, some have extensive certification, others have none or very little.  Every sanctioned National Sport should ensure their Provincial, regional and local organizations comply with the minimum coaching education requirements including ongoing professional development.

Had the 2 Deep Rule (2 adults in the dressing room or areas where players are in contact with coaches) been enforced leading to suspensions/termination of coaches if did not adhere to many of these kids would not have become victims.

Almost every board member I have talked to in recent years is they are getting push back from coaches due to the up-front time commitment to become certified, if it only requires a CRC and respect in sport as the bare minimum, being out of pocket for fees until they complete all the requirements, and push back against any other courses once they complete their initial certification.  Many coaches are stating if they have to do any more they will quit as “they have all the certification they required”, they don’t have the time” or “I have been coaching for years” excuses.

Translation – the coaches got in it for the wrong reasons. Whatever has been asked of me by organizations if I had not done so already, I took the time and spent my own dime to do the education and certification without hesitation as it was all about the kids.

Initial certification and ongoing professional development is a requirement for teachers, social workers, physicians who interact with the vulnerable sector so the same should hold true for coaches, even volunteers.  A perfect example is volunteer firemen, who do regular training to stay current as it is required, not optional.

  1. IMPROVE BOARD/EXECUTIVE MEMBER EDUCATION AND POLICY STATEMENTS:

Just as coaches need to take certification, courses, clinics, so should new board members in key roles like President, VP, Risk Managers for local organizations.  More often than not, they put their hand up, get voted in as they either have no others vying for the same role OR they have support from membership aspiring for their political agenda’s.

In a study conducted with sports stakeholders across Canada where 27 sports were represented, administrators acknowledge they lacked the specialized resources in this area and was even greater in local clubs than in national federations. None of those surveyed stated they had received training on sexual abuse in particular. There is a need for training, information dissemination, awareness-raising, and clear rules and procedures.

Full accountability and transparency via policy statements and discipline for offenses should not be a wish, but an expectation from all key stakeholders of the membership to be met.

The time has come for no more cover-ups, not turn a blind eye, sweep under the rug, put up our hands in the air as don’t know how to deal with and so on.  Per Albert Einstein, if we keep doing the same things over and over again and expecting different results is insanity.

  1. INDEPENDENT REPORTING/REVIEW BY 3rd PARTY ORGANIZATIONS

We need to ensure that all members in sports organizations have a safe reporting and review mechanism independent from that of sports organization from the grassroots all the way to national level to ensure that issues do not get covered up to the point where hundreds, potentially thousands of youth athletes become victims as have in past.

According to the Canadian Minister of Sport and Science, Kirsty Duncan, this is her top priority, “I have one goal, it’s close the gap, and do the hard systemic change and this right going forward, to do everything we can to protect our athletes and our kids.”

Kirsty acknowledged in the same press release that the federal government is working on a third party that would be independent of the sports organizations to ensure reporting and discipline mechanisms are put in place.  She subsequently shared this tweet a few days later while meeting members of various sports bodies at the 2019 Winter Canada Games.

Now that the need for a change in current culture has not only been acknowledged, but those at the highest levels governing sport collaborating to develop the Red Deer Declaration to prevent harassment and discrimination of any kind will no longer be condoned in sport.  The much needed PARADIGM Shift is FINALLY on the horizon.

  1. PARENT AND PLAYER EDUCATION:

We need to educate parents and players on the various forms of harassment that can take place in youth sports, prevention is 99% of the cure, let’s not wait until more kids are abused.

Majority of parents that I have talked to regarding harassment issues that impact their own or kids on their kids teams either were unaware it was, in fact, a form of harassment in the first place (either denial or ignorance), they remain silent due to fear of being ostracized by other parents, coaches or the organization OR fear that their child’s chances to continue playing on top level teams will be jeopardized (due to perceived meal ticket their kids will get a scholarship or play professionally).

Although there are education programs for kids in schools regarding various forms of harassment and how kids can safely report or ask questions, there currently is no mandate for youth athletes to learn what are the various forms of abuse in a safe way (i.e. going to someone to ask questions, advice without potential repercussions) and better yet, how to prevent it.

The buck stops here, in order for the much-needed change to the culture of youth sports, we all have to accept ownership to collaborate to make the changes necessary.

This is the responsibility that we all have in youth sports, whether it be adult leadership at the National, Provincial, local association or respective coaches, official, board member or parents is to develop youth into adults.

Per Kristy Duncan when she responded to the CBC 3 part series regarding sexual abuse in amateur sports in the last 20 years;

“One athlete, one child is too many”. 

I could not agree more.

It is our responsibility as adults to provide kids with a safe environment for them to develop, without fear of verbal, physical or sexual abuse.

Let’s all work together to bring the game back to the kids … where it belongs.