Having been involved in youth sports my entire life, as we continue to clamp down to fight the CV virus and I continue to see empty fields, courts, gyms, rec centres, pools closing down it has my head spinning as have been a long term advocate for us all to get out and PLAY.
We have already started sharing various ways that people across the globe are improvising, adapting and overcoming so they can be active to adhere to mandated stay at home protocols.
I am glad to start seeing others reference what I feel should be the correct term, in lieu of “social” distancing, the term that we all should be using is “physical” distancing to ensure we stay 6’ or more away from others. Now more than ever we need to come together as one to fight the spread of COVID-19 but need to find creative ways to ensure not only do we maintain our social and work networks, but finding ways to be physically and mentally active (sound mind = sound body).
Although we are all being forced to limit interaction with friends, work colleagues, work and study from home (if companies are able to do so) now more than ever we have to ensure we find creative means to stay socially connected although we have to practice physical distance protocols.
Below are just a few examples we have shared out thus far, keep checking our daily shares
Zumba in Utah Backyards
Kudos to all the ladies for participating in what I suspect will not be the first, nor the last, Zumba Backyard Party in the coming weeks.
Germans Singing Bella Ciao from rooftops in solidarity with Italy
Practicing physical distancing but at the same time supporting another country who has been hit hard by the COVID-19 virus just shows how the world is coming together in this fight.
Students sing “somewhere over the rainbow” together from home after concert canceled
I suspect Israel Kamakawiwo’ole (Bruddah Iz or IZ) would have had tears in his eyes while holding his infamous ukulele as he heard all these amazing voices come together while practicing physical distancing at their respective homes to ensure that the show must go on.
Kudos to all of the students and their school staff for improvising, adapting and overcoming.
What is ironic is for years we have been advocating the importance for kids who replaced their former active playtime with inactive screen time is the only means that many people can remain socially connected now by using those very same screens.
As more and more of us shift to working from home, universities and potentially schools going to online education, as well as all other sectors doing same, we need to adapt, improvise so we can overcome.
With all sports on hold until such time that we are given the green light to return back to fields, courts, rinks as are beaches, parks until we get the green light puts more stress on parents to figure out how we can keep kids active as all public places are closed.
Here are some tips on how to do so;
#1 Set up your backyard for multi-sport sampling … put soccer balls, whiffle balls, footballs, frisbees, tennis balls, basketballs, badminton nets, volleyballs on the grass and see what happens.
My backyard, while my kids were growing up even, included a small basketball hoop, a pitching net for my daughter to pitch to and bounce back, street hockey net, golf whiffle balls
Fortunately, both were ones that loved to be outside and playing and still are now, just this weekend we dug up our badminton net and played followed by playing catch with a frisbee, football, and softball.
We also have a 14’ cedar hedge on one side of our house so we were able to get in some hits of various whiffle balls (golf and softball size)
#2 If you have a basement, have a mini stick game, rollerblade, setup a mini-basketball hoop, nets
#3 If you have a stationary bike, check out various spin classes that are now being offered online for free via Youtube
#4 If you have a weight set that has been the infamous go to air out sports equipment while in season, put the sports gear outside and dust off so the whole family can use
#5 Setup a yoga area and can follow instructors who are offering free classes online
#6 Those that are confined to apartments, setup mini obstacle courses, exercise balls, balance boards, chairs and so forth
#7 Play Musical chairs in the dining room or better yet, dance to your favorite music
#8 If you have a balcony and a Bluetooth speaker, host your own neighborhood Zumba parties or “community” band and choirs
#9 Go Old School – Play board games, cards, darts, pool/snooker, Foosball, Air Hockey, Ping Pong while listening to Vinyl records, cassette tapes or CD’s
AND
Just love watching your kids play while they do so
Perhaps when we return back from the post CV outbreak, we will see a shift where more kids play for the sake of playing vs. the adultification and professionalism that has evolved the last 10+ years
Playing games for fun, with their friends, and regardless of the outcome asking two questions after the game is played
Coach – What is the snack today?
When they all pack up and leave … Coach – When do we play again?
Hopefully, in addition to their community sports, they head to those parks, beaches and other areas outside and play pickup games or ride bikes, climb trees, skip rocks, swim, run, hopscotch without the adults telling them what to do, how to do it, when and how long, what positions they play, with who or not and so on like we did as kids that were not commonplace pre CV outbreak but were for prior generations.
As communities are showing across the globe and are adapting, improvising and overcoming, we will get thru these tough times…. Together.
Ensure that you stay positive, be there for others, offer to help where you can, and adhere to physical distancing protocols and all other health authority recommendations as we continue to fight this fight together.
If you know anyone is a front line medical staff worker (doctors, nurses, paramedics, researchers etc) please thank them daily for all the amazing work they are doing to help us fight this who are doing so selflessly as we all should be doing now to help each other.
BONUS – Download a Free Copy of this Blog in PDF Format HERE
Make it Safe from all forms of harassment
In many of my talks with coaches and parents I share 5 key takeaways, one being we must make it safe to fail and from all forms of harassment.
The latter is the focus of this post, an expanded version of prior post Make it Safe where I shared some of the great work being done by various groups to reduce harassment in youth sports.
In that post I shared the study that was posted by True Sport in their 2008 report, the most serious issue facing youth sports 10 years was harassment, identified by 38% of the respondents in a survey.
Fast forward 10 years later, harassment in various forms is not only prevalent, but I would argue has not improved, but has gotten worse as a result of cyberbullying now coming to the forefront as another means of harassment.
Having been a victim of bullying myself, I have never condoned harassment in any shape or form on my teams and encourage all coaches and parents in my talks to have zero tolerance but one thing comes to light over and over again, ignorance what the various forms of harassment are and how to deal with.
Today’s post will focus on the top 5 forms of harassment facing youth sports today, and suspect as it continues to be a hot topic, more to follow in future.
#1 Bullying
Definition: “Bullying is unwanted, aggressive behaviour amongst individuals that involves a real or perceived power imbalance, the behaviour is repeated or has the potential to be repeated over time”
Common for bullying is kids calling other kids names (something I can relate all too well), but also physical abuse (being punched, kicked, hit) by both fellow team or class mates but also the very people that are supposed to have zero tolerance towards can be the bullies (Coaches, parents or teachers).
Verbal – teasing, name-calling, taunting, threatening or causing harm
Physical – hitting, kicking, punching, spitting, tripping, pushing, taking or breaking someones things, making rude hand gestures
Social (relational) – someone is left out on purpose, spreading rumour about another kid or embarrassing a child in public
Ironically the focus of bullying is kids towards kids, but coaches, teachers and instructors also can be the bullies as highlighted in recent article about Will Martin bullying a player on his team in California among other coaches identified.
Per the National Centre for Education Statistics 28% of Us students in grades 6-12 have experienced bullying
In a Study done by Bradshaw, Sawyer and O’Brennan Over 70% in the same age groups have seen bullying happen in their schools
As I was a victim of all forms of bullying as was my brother and others I know so I take harassment very personally, but even more so as two class mates of my son and daughter at their high school committed suicide, one was a girl who played on the girls rugby team that allegations of bullying were hinted was one of the reasons why she did so.
The other, was a 15 year old boy who committed suicide on the same day that my son and all his buds were celebrating their high school graduation. When I found out the news I literally fell out my chair sobbing as I had coached him 2 years prior on the high school junior rugby team, and had also coached his older brother, and two of his cousins in hockey.
Both cousins quit hockey before they were 13 one who happened to be a very strong player but as a result of the verbal abuse he and his team mates received on a spring team he quit hockey as well as other sports to become one of the 70% of kids that quit by the age of 13.
Why the young boy M took his life, no one knows, he was always one with a huge smile on his face but as more and more comes out about the damaging effects of depression the more we are becoming aware that mental illness impacts those in sport as well. As my brother shared when I texted him about it as he also lost a close friend who committed suicide, he replied “Mental illness is EVIL.”
Ensure you join the conversation about mental illness on Jan. 31st, 2018 when Bell sponsors the 7th annual Let’s Talk Day
#2 Cyberbullying (origins approximately 2008 after the world’s first smartphone, the device of choice for Gen Z)
Definition: The use of electronic communication to bully a person, typically by sending a message of an intimidating or threatening nature
During this year’s world junior tournament, one of the top commercials being played is former Canadian World Junior Player Jordan Eberle sharing insight on cyberbullying sponsored by Telus below, almost ½ of kids have experienced cyberbullying in the past month!
Cyberbullying is a relatively new form of harassment that all adults in the youth sports space must be aware of.
Kudo’s to Telus and Jordan Eberle for bringing this serious issue to the forefront, “no kid should have to go thru getting bullied.”
Some other cyberbullying statistics;
About the same number (approx 50%) that have been victims of cyberbullying have been instigators themselves!
Over 25% have been bullied repeatedly thru their cell phones or social media
Over 50% do not tell their parents, less than 20% report to authorities
10% have had embarrassing pictures of themselves posted without permission
20% have sent sexually suggestive of nude pics of themselves to others
Girls are more likely than boys to be involved in cyberbullying
Definition: harassment (typically of a woman but roles can be reversed) that involves the making of unwanted sexual advances or obscene remarks.
Although not commonplace YET in youth sports, professional sports commentators Sportsnet Greg Zaun and NFL Network Analysts Marshall Faulk, Donovon McNabb, Ike Taylor, Heath Evans, Eric Weinberger have been suspended or fired for allegations of sexual harassment in latter part of 2017.
Hall of Fame NFL and CFL quarterback Warren Moon has received another allegation of sexual harassment, previously from a former cheerleader of the Minnesota Vikings and the most recent from an aid of his sports marketing company.
Where sexual harassment is starting to evolve and coaches must be aware of is in mixed teams, many girls like my niece played on boy’s hockey teams as their association was not large enough to have girls only AAA teams. Having coached girls softball teams for many years coaches you must be very cautious of any comments you make that may be taken out of context also.
As the professional sports broadcasters found out more and more girls and women are speaking out via #metoo initiatives and rightfully so, no one regardless of gender should be harassed in youth sports, schools or the workforce.
#4 Sexual Abuse
Definition: also referred to as molestation, is undesired sexual behaviour by one person over another, the offender is referred to as a the sexual abuser or molester.
In a Study done by Parent and El Mimi at the University of Laval, 2-8% of minor-age athletes are victims of sexual abuse within the context of sport and of the 159 case of sexual abuse reported, the perpetrators were coaches, teachers or instructors in 98% of the cases
Recent examples of Sexual Abuse in Sports
2017 – USA Gymnastics– 125 former and current members of the USA Gymnastics team, including Olympic Medal winners, came forward with sexual abuse allegations towards former team doctor Larry Nazar which he pleaded guilty and sentenced to life in prison soon after. There is still fall-out how USA Gymnastics could have had the culture that lead to this and how some early allegations were not followed up on similar to the fall-out from USA Swimming 7 years prior.
2017 – Canadian Alpine Ski Team – former ski coach Betrand Charest from 1996 to 1998 gets a 12 year prison sentence for sexually assaulting 12 teen girls between the ages of 12-19 at the time. Two subsequent charges were brought forth but put aside as they occurred while Charest was coaching in New Zealand, out of the courts jurisdiction. Alpine Canada applauded all those that came forward and says it will continue to work with its partners on “all relevant initiatives that strengthen the prevention of any form of abuse, harassment or discrimination locally, provincially and across all sports.”
2016 – United Kingdom, particularly Football – Initial allegations came forward by many English professional footballers reported in Nov. 2016 they had been victims of sexual assault by coaches, then a month later allegations about former coaches and scouts started to emerge. from Scotland and Ireland. By Sept 2017 the number of affected UK football clubs had grown to 331 with 285 identified suspects and 784 victims. Although Football was the main focus in Britain, allegations came forward from individuals in others sports including basketball, rugby, gymnastics, martial arts, tennis, wrestling, golf, sailing, athletics, cricket and swimming.
2011 – Jerry Sandusky @ Penn State University – sex abuse scandal came to light, former football assistant coach was charged of 48 counts of sexually abusing minors and was found guilty of 45 receiving a sentence of 30 to 60 years in prison. Jerry not only destroyed the lives all those he abused, but the tenured coaching career of Joe Paterno, many argued was one of the greatest coaches ever who coached Penn State football team for 46 seasons ! Soon after the allegations came forward, Joe resigned and shortly after passed away from cancer that many argue was the dark cloud from not acting on initial allegations that came forward in 2002.
2010 – USA Swimming – A Television News Investigation reported sexual misconduct by a number of different coaches, one being Andy King who coached at various clubs on the west coast for three decades and was found guilty of abusing over a dozen teenaged female victims, one who had an abortion at 14 years of age. More than 100 coaches were banned for life as a result of the investigation and the NGB was blasted for not acting on allegations sooner, even allowing coaches that faced initial allegations transfer to new clubs in other cities that lead to further teenage victims. One of the coaches that has been suspended originated from Ireland, George Gibney who left Ireland who had been charged with indecent assault in 1993 but was successful in obtaining his green card to coach in the USA.
1996 – Graham James – Former WHL coach – identified by Sheldon Kennedy (co-founder of the Respect Group in 2004) and another unnamed player initially with others to follow that they were sexually abused by James. He subsequently pleaded guilty to 350 sexual assaults over his coaching tenure in the WHL from the mid 80’s to mid 90’s and served several prison terms as more allegations were brought to light including Theo Fleury’s. He is now out on parole, but many feel (yours truly included) that his prison term(s) should have been much, much longer.
I would have thought the awareness that started when Sheldon Kennedy then all others since who have come forward would have been enough to nip sexual abuse of minors in sport in the bud right then and there but it appears that all sporting organizations still have work to do both in the recruiting of their coaches and reporting procedures for their athletes.
The question I have now is what program is next? Are there any other sexual predators out there that we don’t know about YET?
I hope not… I truly hope that the awareness created now will ensure that all sports programs implement the check and balances needed to ensure these tragic events don’t happen again EVER.
Coaches, as a result of the sexual abuse issues above, many sports groups are asking for police checks of their coaches annually or bi-annually. I feel your pain, particularly if you have to get multiple police checks done each year, as I am involved with various children’s programs and charities I have to get 2-4 police checks done each year and thanks to the fact I share the same birthday as a pedophile, each time I have get fingerprints as well. I do so without hesitation, it is all about protecting the kids.
#5 Hazing
Definition: any initiation process involving harassment, regardless if the victim provides consent or not due to peer pressure to do so.
Contrary to Bullying that is more about exclusion, hazing involves the very same forms of harassment, abuse or humiliation but is all about inclusion, initiating a new member to the team.
It has long been touted as “boys being boys”,”the Badge of Honour” or “part of our tradition.”
Below is the most recent example of the extremes of hazing, yet another scandal at Penn State University where a student pledge to a fraternity died as a result of excessive drinking of alcohol.
There are three distinct forms of hazing
Subtle – picking up pucks, balls after practice, calling senior players sir
Harassment – yelling or screaming, personal chores or servitude, wearing humiliating attire
Hazardous – forcing others to drink, eat vile substances, sexual acts, coerced alcohol, drugs, burning, branding, illegal activities, bondage, forced exposure to extreme weather, exercise
The reason why Hazing is so serious is since it merely escalates year over year, particularly in sports programs as we all want to do “better” that prior teams did.
According to a study shared by stop hazing, 47% of students experience some form of hazing before they graduate from high school and 74% of players on varsity teams go thru hazing.
Joe Sakic, Hall of Fame former NHL player had his head shaved like the Whitecaps players in prior post Make it Safe in his rookie season and he vowed he would never do the same to another human being.
Don Cherry, the OHL and numerous other sports leaders and organizations have zero tolerance for hazing rituals but merely putting “Hazing of any kind will not be permitted” in an associations policy is not enough, coaches, players, and all adults involved with the teams must be educated on the various forms of hazing so even the subtlest forms do not start.
One of top Universities in Canada, McGill, had their entire 2008 Varsity Football program shut down due to hazing (less than 10 years ago!)
A couple of years back when I was doing research on hazing, one of the experts I reached out to referred parents to contact me. They thanked me for taking the initiative to do so as their 18 old son died as a result of hazardous hazing during pledging for a fraternity. They shared there is not enough education being done and if there had been, perhaps their son would still be alive today.
Needless to say, I was very sombre when I read their note as I dug into researching hazing further, he was not the only one, there have been over 200 hazing deaths since they were first tracked in 1838 (average 1.11/yr) but 40 from 2007-2017 (4 per annum)!
During Feb. 5th – 9th I will be one of the guests of the free end bullying summit hosted by Dr. Jen Fraser, author of Teaching Bullies, and encourage you all to register for to hear from some of the world’s top experts what we can do to eliminate the various forms of harassment that continues to impact youth sports today.
I am not sure we will ever eliminate harassment completely, but we can no longer condone it, sweep it under the rug, turn a blind eye and we must deal with it head on providing safe reporting procedures for the victims and timely investigation procedures, too many kids are getting hurt by the various forms of harassment that exist today.
If you can eliminate harassment on your team as one coach, or in your classroom as one teacher we all will take a HUGE leap forward.
Let’s work together to bring the game back to the kids … where it belongs.
Coaches, as a result of the sexual abuse issues above, many sports groups are asking for police checks of their coaches annually or bi-annually. I feel your pain, particularly if you have to get multiple police checks done each year, as I am involved with various children’s programs and charities I have to get 2-4 police checks done each year and thanks to the fact I share the same birthday as a pedophile, each time I have get fingerprints as well. I do so without hesitation, it is all about protecting the kids.
